life dithyrambic

Motivation and Memory

2011-03-26T12:13:00.000-07:00


Myself at 25 years in 1991.

The above picture is an accurate representation when I was twenty-four, twenty-five years old and exercising five days a week and not eating much. While working full-time, I signed myself up for Jazzercise in the evenings when I wasn't taking night classes at DeAnza. In the morning, I would take early morning swimming classes where would get up before 5 am and go to DeAnza's outdoor pool. Three days a week were Endurance classes, and two were speed classes. Then I would rush home, shower, and get dressed for work. It was even more amazing that this was the Winter/Spring of 1991 when there was a big freeze. Jars with water on our back porch in Cupertino would freeze solid and a neighbor would water his front yard creating conditions for icicles in the early morning when I was heading to the swimming pool. How did I do it then?

I made swimming and exercise a mindless habit without any thought put into it all. When you think about it you can talk yourself out of it. You can start feeling good about yourself enough to say you can skip today's workout. If you think about it you can look outside and say the weather is too wet, too cold, too hot, too uninviting. You will feel your muscles get sore and tell yourself that you will do it when you stop hurting. When you think about it, you start bargaining with yourself that you will start swimming or working out when you feel better about your body to feel comfortable being in a bathing suit. You may make good on all these wagers with yourself, but you're more likely to slip into a sad and guilt-ridden sloth.

In the past twenty years I had slowly let myself slip. There were times where I caught myself slipping and lost an incredible amount of weight that a sales clerk at Macy's would direct me to the Petite section. Then I slowly slipped again. That time I didn't catch myself. Then I quit smoking, got pregnant, and got busy in suburbia where you have to drive everywhere.

Oddly, I am healthier than that girl in the photo up there. I got skinny by hardly eating anything. I was hardly sleeping. I compensated for my poor habits, but exercising like crazy.

My pregnancy and motherhood had forced me to be thoughtful about what I was putting into my body because I breastfed my son for about 2 1/2 years. As I get older, I do not believe in cosmetic surgery, so I have to prevent or slow down the aging process by eating and drinking superfoods. All I need to do is to exercise everyday. If I do not get to be as skinny as the above picture it will be not as important than being healthy. I have watched loved ones who aged or are aging not so gracefully because of choices they made. That is not what I want for myself or my loved ones.

So I have started swimming outdoors even in the stormiest of weather. It is a resolve and shark-like focus to get me out everyday avoiding the barriers and excuses that would normally weasel me out of activity. Swimming in a deluge is the best way to experience a storm. You are in the water while the water dances with raindrops and wind. The weather cannot harm you unless there is a lightning storm. You are wet already.

Swimming is my choice because it is an exercise that I can participate in when I am eighty.

So here I go on my next adventure.

Why We Should Stand With Wisconsin

2011-03-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

My mom was a public employee in Children's services. She would come home with heartbreaking stories of dealing with severely abused children. She would relate how tough it was on the social workers who were overloaded with cases. My mother-in-law was a public employee and she would wake up early to get to work when the stock market opened to invest money for our county.

While being an adoptee, I have a complicated view of social workers, but I appreciate the work they do for the elderly, homeless, mentally ill, poor, children, single moms, the handicapped, all the people that the public would like to disappear. Social workers are evidence that at some point as a country we cared about the weakest among us. Private charities simply cannot help these people when they have to rely on volunteers and private contributions. They can never approach the scale of government workers. Government workers do what they do under the hostility of demagogues and the public scorn. People look down on public workers and treat them terribly. They do work that most people do not want to do and have none of the sexiness of private sector jobs.

People will complain about government workers, their poor service, and how the private sector is better. I know from working in the private sector, that the private sector has been working to provide less customer service to feed the bottom line. Try getting tech support on the phone sometime. There are bad employees in both private and public places of business and they can be equally difficult to get rid of, believe me.

Public employees keep our parks clean after the sloppy and thoughtless public visits them. Fire fighters run into fires to save us. Teachers educate the next generation of scientists, doctors, etc. Police keep us safe. Public health nurses help poor women breastfeed and take care of their newborns. 911 operators stay cool for us in our worst of times. There are public employees who track epidemics and some who track earthquakes. There are public employees who clear and repair roads. They make sure our workplaces, food, and drugs we take are safe. There are people who investigate elder abuse or child abuse. Even the paper pushers make sure we can depend that our records are their when they need them (except if you are an adoptee). The list goes on.

Those of us in the private sector have to spend an inordinate time trying to convince people that they need the products we offer, but public servants are needed by our nation's weakest members -- a pool of people that grow everyday.

Union employees fought and earned the rights they have because they organized and hung together. Their fight got us the 40 hr work week, sick pay, vacation pay, disability insurance, overtime things we take for granted and allow those rights to be eroded over time. That is why we have to stand with them now.

I believe that the purpose of demonization of unions distracts people from asking why the people who created this economic disaster are not being frogmarched to jail. It distracts from the reality that wealth is being hoarded by a few people who allow our infrastructure, public safety, education, all the things that made commerce possible to disintegrate. They have made their wealth of us, and now they do not care about the future of this country because they can simply take their wealth elsewhere. They have robbed wealth and have left a country for the next generation that is worse than they found it. Those who have all the wealth fight against our ability to have basic health care, clean air, clean water, and having a decent education.

They make us fight over reproductive rights, having a secular fact based education, workers rights, guns, climate change, and health care when in the past 25 and especially the oughts wealth has been redistributed at an historic rate from 98% to the 2% of the population.

It is time for us to see ourselves as workers and stand with Wisconsin and Ohio. Instead of resenting union worker benefits and security ask ourselves why we never fought for our own rights and benefits. The more workers earn and the more security they have the better economy we will have because workers can buy and generate demand for goods and services that generate wealth. Workers manufacture and provide services that create wealth. It is time to stand with the workers for the sake of our economy and the soul of our country.

Egyptian Solidarity Message to Wisconsin Workers

2011-02-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

Libya News from Twitter

2011-02-21T09:07:00.000-08:00

Posted on February 21, 2011

by Naddah

Aljazeera reports that Libya protests spread and intensify: More than 60 people reported dead in the capital. This is amid uncomfirmed reports from various Libyan diplomatic sources (via Al Arabiya and Reuters) lthat Gaddafi has left the country for Venezuela or Brazil, and another report of Two Libyan military planes landing at the airport in Malta unexpectedly (the Malta story is now being picked up by Aljazeera and Reuters). Aljazeera is also reporting that there are multiple reports confirm that military airplanes are bombing protesters in Tripoli and there are live ammunition being used on protestors from foreign mercenaries including ground artillery. The Internet and cell lines are down - all communications are down. Although there is limited phone service between Tripoli and Tunis, but it is precarious. Video, photos appear to show protests turning violent. Along with rumors of Gaddafi flight, there are rumors from Tripoli that the parliament building was set alight . There are also reports that Libyan embassy staff resign in Sweden, and the Libyan Ambassador to London has resigned & joined the protesters.

Crude oil jumps 5% as Libya protests spread

"We Won't Go Back" featuring Lisa Edelstein

2011-02-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

When my mother was alive she told me how she stopped her friend in the early 1950s from having a back alley abortion. My mother, a catholic, didn't stop her because her religion told her so, but because the guy who was going to do it had an eyepatch and dirty fingernails. Her friend had the child, gave it up for adoption, but lied about her offspring's ethnicity (said he was Italian when he was actually Mexican to make him adoptable). When abortion was illegal that didn't stop abortions, it just brought it underground where women were put into dangerous situations.

Back in 1990, when I was tabling for reproductive rights a man in his 60s came to our table and said, "I am a republican, but I have more reason to be pro-choice than any of you."

Of course, it was hard to believe him at first. He continued, "My mother died due to an illegal, botched abortion." Thud.

During my tabling, many people who were grandparents at the time would come over and thank us for being there. They would register their absolute horror and dismay that we would have to keep struggling for reproductive rights. That was 20 years ago and those people have most likely passed away, but I will keep their voices alive -- voices that know what life was like when women had no reproductive rights.

It is now 2011 and we continue to struggle. There is a state that is actually contemplating killing abortion providers being "justifiable homicide", we have wonderkind Justin Bieber saying that pregancy from rape "happens for a reason", and republican law makers continue to chip away access to legal abortions across the country. Once more, we need to muster to protect women's reproductive rights.

I write this as someone who has been honored by pro-life groups when I ran an award-winning adoption reform website, Voices of Adoption. I believe that all mothers need to be honored and supported to encourage women to be proud of their pregnancies and be able to parent. If they do not want to parent, they should have the ability to enter an ethical adoption that supports her through the lifelong effects of her decision with openness and no shame. Taking the stigma out of single parenting will go a long way
to remove the need to have an abortion. Remove the negative consequences of out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and maybe you will see a decrease in abortions.

There are instances where women may not want to carry a pregnancy as a result of rape or molestation. There are excruciating cases where couples who desperately want to be parents are faced with a pregnancy with painful and terrible deformities with no chance that fetus is going to be a living baby. In those cases, republicans want that woman to risk her life and force her to remain pregnant when she knows her baby will be dead. Republicans want that couple to suffer because they have this fixation on fetuses.

I support reproductive rights because a government who can make abortion illegal can also make it mandatory, because the underlying assumption is that women have no sovereignty over their bodies.

Let us not go back...

Don't Blink

2011-01-16T22:10:00.001-08:00

In Nature

2011-01-16T22:06:00.001-08:00

Self Portrait, 2011

2011-01-16T22:04:00.000-08:00

Or the crackling embers of the garbage can fire (bonfire was taken) of my vanity...

Confession. When I want an ego boost I post pictures of me when I am in high school or one of my more glamorous stages in my twenties on Facebook. Immediately after, I get pangs of guilt at the dishonesty of putting a picture up of me when when Reagan was president. That's not really me, is it?

To make amends, I go in with my Blackberry phone camera and take pictures, then with a combination of Photoscape and Photoshop, make those photos interesting. Nothing I do really alters the topography of my face or hair, it is all color, contrast, texture. I do nothing to get rid of the flaws. You see what the camera sees except through Sepia filters. Sometimes the things I do make it look even more flawed.

I have always wrestled with what photos are circulated of me. Back in the 1990s, I would get a call from media for pictures of myself. My work schedule hadn't allowed me an opportunity to have a picture taken of me. Then I would have to be nearly struck with a paralyzing dilemma -- do I send them an awesome picture or when I was younger, or do I somehow take a picture that would not be as flattering because it will be not by a good photographer like I had in the early days. A couple of times I would just send nothing in or have them send out a photographer. So many times, I have blushed at my shallow, shameful vanity.

Now, I am in my forties and I have crossed a threshhold where I am quite certain I am not going to look like I was when I was a teenager or a twenty year old. As I get older my German features I inherited from my birthfather emerge. There is nothing I can do about it. This is me. Forty means getting comfortable with new realities. When you are in your forties your face and body start to change. Being forty means loving yourself anyway. I do.

Favorite parts: lips, eyebrows, and eyes

Least favorite parts: nose and chin

This is me with my Vera Wang eyeglasses, half smile, and enlarged pores. No makeup except lipstick. This is not bad.

Only the Film Is Damaged

2011-01-16T22:00:00.000-08:00

Look at this. I took a picture of myself that shows that I have pretty good skin and then proceed to put a filter over it that has stains and scruff marks.

Of Rowboats and Roses

2011-01-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

An invitation launches dreams of love songs written with silver frankincense and sandalwood perfumed ink on places modesty that never reveals the location, but imaginations would excitedly muse. Whafts of velvety apricot roses and beads of perspiration dance seductively with eastern spices and new growth in the air. The intoxicating attar drives patience wild with delicate unspoken half sentences contemplating a thousand ways to desire and heartbeak. The crackling victrola echoes in the warm breeze along with dithyrambic croaking with the first palpitations of Spring. Paddle rhythmically strum and fan the riffling water. Nervous rowing glances and sips in the sight of petal soft skins hue blushing and glowing underneath peach paper parasols and feathered brims. Chestbeats are so frantic they might be betray feelings that mirror the tenor's crescendo of longing lifting off hard rubber groove. Eyes close, hats tilts forward they fall back onto silken pillows. Feeling hairs slowly undoing themselves by a uneasily languid recline on undulating lagoon. Opened eyes and cheeks become flushed in imaginings underneath shirts and smiles induce each other that the companionship is appreciated as innocently as possible. Breathing deeply silk stockings rub together. Eyes dart to shore to see if anyone is at shore.

Moving on impulses threatens to tip the boat over. On shore there are a throng of arguments and warnings to keep the space between. Hands and arms keep rowing as dreamy eyes trace the contours of the shore aching for the rowing never to stop -- breaking the spell.

Wherever She Is, She Is In Paris

2011-01-16T21:54:00.000-08:00

Daydreaming comes easier to me than those that come when I fall into my pillow. If you find that have a far off look it is because I am somewhere else -- where I can look out the window and see the Eiffel Tower and the Seine. On fine airmail paper and fountain pen with perfumed henna'd ink I pour out my heart to a friend that I tattooed the map of Paris on myself, and postmarks come back with exclaimation marks.

Disappearing Frogs - KQED QUEST

2011-01-16T08:41:00.001-08:00

As I have written in the first posts of this blog, frogs are sort of my totem or spirit animal. I have been ruminating how to do my part in saving them. You see, they are in danger all over the world. Their permeable skins and their amphibious lifestyle makes them vulnerable and a literal "canary in a coalmine". Everything we do to change the chemistry of our water and earth weakens them and makes them more likely to catch diseases.
In our neck of the woods, we have the red legged frog which is beautiful (well, all frogs are beautiful to me).

April 29th, 2011 is Save The Frogs Day. What will you do to save the frogs?

Freezing North American Wood Frogs

2011-01-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

Frogs have always facinated me. Back in 1982 in my Biology class we were forced to dissect frogs. One of my best friends was my partner and the dissecting fell upon me. Frog biology was one of beautiful design. Over the years, I would marvel at pictures of frogs around the world and take trips to creeks and ponds to watch tadpoles.
I found a video about North American Wood Frogs who can literally freeze up, stop breathing, heart stops, and everything only to be thawed and awakened to mate.Science doesn't know what This is exhibit #156 among thousands of reasons that we ought to save them. The things we do to save them can also save the planet.

Having a Gifted Son - The Downside

2010-12-12T11:51:00.000-08:00

No one feels sorry for a parent who has a gifted child. Usually, people say "well, that is a good problem to have." When you want to talk about your gifted child it feels like bragging and I am sure it comes off as bragging, but it is worrying. Are we doing enough for our child? Do we really have to pay 20k a year for the rest of his life to make sure he gets a proper education. It is weird that there are no parents that I can turn to with gifted children, probably since most of them just go to private school. This is Marin after all.

Then I am wondering whether he is gifted, or just advanced in comparison to the curriculum. Maybe the curriculum is just too slow. Do you know what I mean? If he were in a different school district, different state, or different country, would he just be normal?

Before my son started school, random strangers would come up to me and tell me their tales of how pubic schools in Marin were not good enough for their kids and that they had to go to private schools. It was weird that I would get this unsolicited advice. I always thought it didn't make sense to pay 20k a year for elementary school or middle school. We could supplement whatever the schools couldn't.

Our son was always bright, but when he got into Kindergarten, we started noticing that he was picking up things easily. He was placed in an advanced reading class and as soon as he was told the phonics rules, he was off running. Math came easily to him and we were able to challenge him with harder addition and multiplication problems with carrying.

Now he is in First Grade and he reads beyond his comprehension because he knows how to decode. We along with his teacher are trying to get him to work on comprehension. He does several times more work than his peers, but he is still not challenged. He reads manuals for the video games he plays an hour a week, if that. He loves reading, chess, and playing all kinds of games. He also is a jock. He plays baseball, soccer, basketball, swims, and is committed to tae kwon do where he is almost a red belt. We want him to be a well rounded kid. Fortunately, he has this ability to adjust and play with almost everyone as he is very easy going.

The problem is that since they have a wide spectrum of learning abilities, the school has to break information in manageable pieces so everyone has time to learn concepts, when our son can absorb more information. In First Grade, he has a perfect report card and perfect score on his First Grade math test. First Grade math is below what he used to do in his spare time in Kindergarten. I work in his classroom and I do see the difference, but try to downplay it because there is nothing we can do about him being so ahead. Two separate parents have said we should have him in a gifted school. Again, do we really have to spend 20k a year for the rest of his life to get an education? Will paying for private school just put him with smart, rich kids who may exclude him because he is not rich? Paying for private school means we would not be able to see our son as much as he likes, because we would both have to work full-time.

We could promote him, but then that is one less year we will have him around us. Most of his friends are younger than him, it would be a social adjustment. Plus, it would thrust him faster to all the mindless testing that wouldn't tell anything about him. We have no idea whether Second Grade would challenge him either.

There is always homeschooling, but part of school is the relationships and interactions with peers. Homeschooling robs him of that even though you can go to homeschooling socials. My other concern is that the majority of parents would home school for different reasons than I would be.

What is missing is having peers that challenge him and having material that engages him and finds the outer limits of his capability. We have no idea how to do this. There are plenty of services for kids who are struggling, but nothing for kids who excel. This totally sucks.

Paris in Winter

2010-12-12T10:09:00.000-08:00

Paris__Snow__by_rakel8a.jpg
The Eiffel Tower has been shut down because of the snow and subfreezing temperatures. Children are playing in the snow around it. If only I can be there now in my Parisian apartment looking out through my dining room window to the Eiffel Tower across the street with snow flakes falling. All I would want to do is to dress up in layers of warm clothes, boots, and warm gloves and go out into the Wintery Paris that is so beautiful.

From my winter experience in Boston, my body is of the type that acclimates to extreme colds quickly so I could wear jeans and a sweater while it is snowing. Paris in whites and grays has the beauty of an old photograph except you would see shocks of color -- like a black and white dress with a flame red petticoat. I imagine that I could always duck into a cafe and sit by the window as a sip coffee. There would be soft, aromatic cheese and hot crispy baguette with my creamy coffee. A door would open letting in a rush of arctic air into the warm cafe, and I would ache for a fireplace fire in the library of my apartment.

20101208-_MG_1037, originally uploaded by AkiraleShiba.

I found this photo over at Parisian Adventures which has beautiful pictures of Paris in the snow.

Henri Riviere, La Tour en construction,
vue de Trocadero,pl. 3 from the book
Les Trente-Six Vues de la Tour Eiffel, 1902.
Color lithograph © 2010 ARS, New York / ADAGP, Paris

Till January 9th, 2011, The Legion of Honor in San Francisco will have an exhibit which includes this little print. The exhibit is called, The Japanese Print in the Era of Impressionism at the Legion of Honor. This particular print is by Henri Riviere which shows the Eiffle Tower in the snow as viewed from the Trocadero, where my dream apartment is located. The exhibit is described as an introduction to the "development of the Japanese print over two centuries (1700–1900) and reveals its profound influence on Western art during the era of Impressionism." I will be taking my mother-in-law to this as she loves everything Japanese.

A Turkey Tale

2010-11-28T09:15:00.000-08:00

Surely, this tale will someday be re-made into a Rankin/Bass stop-motion animated Christmas special.

ACT 1

Growing up in a small family with only my mom and dad, and no real extended family, I always longed for an opportunity to have a Thanksgiving with lots of people around the table. In my minds eye, I envisioned the whole Norman Rockwell scene of the long table with nice china and everything sparkling. It was not until I found my birth family and met the man who would be my husband that I could fulfill my dreams of formal in-home dining.

I now had formal dining room and a large 1957 range called "The Liberator" (It was called the Liberator, because it had a dual oven. One oven was large enough for a 28 pound turkey and the other was great for side dishes. Women's lib, baby!) All I needed to do is invite our newly formed family for our first formal Thanksgiving. We invited my mom and dad, my fiance's mom and dad, and my birth father and his wife-to-be. There was a 28 pound turkey, which I got up at 4am to wrestle it into the oven. Wrestling with a 28 pound turkey is like wrestling with a toddler, I was over my head, but I was not going to be defeated. As daylight broke, I called my parents, my mother-in-law-to-be, and my birthfather for advise on how to cook the turkey as this was my first. To my alarm, everyone told me different temps and technques. Then, the chef on the radio told me something else. I must have changed the temperature several times, turned it over, and wrapped and unwrapped it in the next few hours. The amazing thing the turkey turned out to be the perfect turkey and the entire dinner impressed everyone. Psyche! My pride and confidence swelled. I could do this at will. Soon, Martha Stewart would be calling me for tips.

ACT 2
A couple of years later I organized a Christmas dinner, but had to schedule it on Christmas eve because my birthfather preferred that day. There were no worries since I was a pro already. Christmas eve came and I was more than organized. Everything was beautiful. Everyone was there except my birthfather and his now wife. I didn't worry because they had a two hour drive and sometimes he runs late. The food was done and everyone was ready to sit down for food. Finally, I gave him a call.

Brrrring. Brrrring.
Dan: Hello
Me: Hello...
Dan: Are we still on for tomorrow for dinner?

Of course, I said yes, not wanting him to feel bad. There was no time for them to get here today and I wanted him and his wife to come over. We started the days dinner without them, and my mind raced. What will we do tomorrow. We couldn't give them leftovers. Somehow I need to find a fresh turkey on Christmas day and create an entire meal from scratch, while already having leftovers from the first meal. Can I make two Christmas dinners within 24 hours?

ACT 3

We woke early on a chilly Christmas morning in San Francisco. Calling around we found there was a small grocery store open not too far from Sutro tower. Taking a deep breath we went in. I found the refrigerated section and found a turkey tucked in. Gasp! Oh, Turkey Gods, I feel your warm hug! Lifting and hugging the turkey, I made my way to the register. The clerk acknowledged me and saw that I had the last turkey and ask, "Oh, are you the person who called about the turkey?"

If I were not desperate and crazed to have every Christmas meal be perfect, I would have done the noble thing and admit that I was not the one who called. As I said, I was in desperation. I had spent most of the night before imagining disaster of not having a fresh turkey. Those imagined looks of masked disappointment of having leftovers were too much for me. Before my noble self would discern the immorality of taking of a turkey promised to another, I said, "Yes, thank you."

I said it. A flush of shame warmed my face in the chilly air as I carried it to our car. There were thoughts of another family who would go without a turkey this year because of us. There they were with sad, hollowed out eyes as they were told the turkey was already claimed. Sighing heavily, I was resolute to accept the karmic retribution that would surely come from claiming someone else's turkey. I had no choice. My birthfather absentmindedness had forced my hand. In times of crisis, people make difficult moral choices that they wouldn't in less demanding times. Sophie's Choice! In my head, I imagined I was in some sort of Stalingrad during World War II having to find food for my family. We became the family with hallowed eyes frantically searching for food as bombs fell in the snowed in city.

Mistakes were made, but a second Christmas dinner in 24 hours was achieved. It only took the sacrifice of my dignity and integrity. The End.

Chanel Channel

2010-11-27T09:54:00.000-08:00

Just so you know, I haven't forgotten my obsession with perfume. Rather than hoarding perfumes with my lizard brain, I am fully appreciating what I have. Although, I find myself wanting to celebrate the holiday season by going to Union Square and delighting at all the perfume bottles. I absolutely need to pilgrimage at the Chanel Boutique. For those who are new here, I have blogged about my history with Chanel fragrances that began rocky and is progressing wonderfully.
1000 Fragrances blog has written an interesting review of what seems to be a historical novel about the history of Chanel No. 5. , The Secret of Chanel No. 5: The Intimate History of the World's Most Famous Perfume. It features a cover that has Wharhol's painting of No. 5. I am putting it on my books to read list, even though my relationship with No. 5 is still up in the air. There is an appreciation that No. 5 is a huge part of perfume history and is a classic fragrance. It just doesn't move me like Coco, No. 22, and No. 19. Still trying to find out why.
Oh, before I forget to tell you, I finally got around to watching Coco Before Chanel. As far as biopics go, this one was was entertaining and beautifully filmed. It is a good rental. Whether it is a film or book, my impression that stories about Chanel and Coco herself are concoctions where the unvarnished truth is elusive and a definitive story almost impossible.

William S. Borroughs Documentary

2010-11-27T08:46:00.000-08:00

I think this documentary was made in 1984. Fascinating. Enjoy.

A Holiday Tradition: Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs

2010-11-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

"Thanksgiving Prayer" by poet, William S. Burroughs.
Watching this has become a tradition with me. It is a nice way to embrace what is dark,disturbing, and distressing about our Amerikkan heritage. It is kinda like reading Air Conditioned Nightmare by Henry Miller (Will be reviewing that book shortly). It cuts through the artery clogging grease of self-congratulation and grotesque hubris of our countrymen. It casts the evil eye on mean-spiritied neo-puritanism and anti-intellectualism that hates art, science, women, gays, dark people. It takes a mid-century junky to see that our country is diseased and put it into words. It shows what happens when a great mind gets hold of opiates he can plug into a subcutaneous of our national psyche. When I offered these thoughts to the Wonkette forum, Dashboard Jesus offered the following quite:

"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society" ~ Krishnamurti

I do pause and consider my attraction to artists who are considered degenerates, drunks, druggies, deviants, and damsels of decadent living. Many of these people see the dark underbelly of our culture after taking all sorts of mind altering, and some see all this before and are driven to numb the pain of knowing the truth about the world around them. Being a student of human history, you know their pessimism is based on documented fact. Shock and awe began right after the native Americans feasted with us and we have been doing variations of it ever since. Our love of guns run parallel to the beginning of the KKK. For all our strength, we are a fearful people. We only use our lizard brains to desire or react to things that threaten us. It is as if we know on a cellular level our collective sins, and know we wouldn't deserve mercy if those our culture tormented came to power.

My son learned a song about the Native Americans and the pilgrims for Thanksgiving that stops short before you talk about diseased blankets and a brutal sense of manifest destiny. How long do I wait to tell him the darker side of life? There will be plenty of time, I guess, for him to develop a dystopic pessimism. My feeling is that I need to kick start him with the optimism and faith that hard work, discipline, intellect, and compassion will yield him much success.

It is true that while I can entertain the darkness, I am at heart an idealistic optimist. I still have hope that we will wake up and reject our nation's dark side.

Happy Thanksgiving, Kids.

Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shat out through wholesome
American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and
danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin' lawmen,
feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for
Christ" stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody's allowed to mind their
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories-- all right let's see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.

Poetry: Carnal Cerebral Love

2010-11-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

Carnal Cerebral Love

I want to make love to your mind

Stimulate me with your intellect, your insight and understanding.

Ignite me with random connections and your clever wit.

Carnal Cerebral Love

I want to make love to your inner being.

Allow me to delight in your orgasmic, dynamic mind.

Open up and invite me into the deep warmth of your soul.

Carnal Cerebral Love

Let our synapses dance entangle and connect at the same plateau.

Complete each other’s sentences, not our lives.

Carnal Cerebral Love, Our physical being

Our external egos decay daily and by the moment only our inner selves

intact

Denise Castellucci

This is a poem I wrote and eventually used in my wedding in 1995 in Stern Grove in San Francisco. It would be fabulous for me to say that I wrote this for my husband, but alas I wrote this when I was single and was inspired to write poetry. It was an aspirational poem. Most of my adult life I have been attracted to very intelligent men with a keen sense of humor. This means that men I dated had a charisma that came from unconventional sources. The body is so temporal, temporary -- like a butter or sand painting -- it melts or blows away with the elements and time. The soul, the mind, the heart is forever. Both subjects of sonnets from the 1500s live on today as I read them to my son.

Since I wrote that poem and read it at my wedding, I have seen it published in various online wedding vow guides including "Wedding Ceremonies Galore" and is used by various officiants. I have seen it blogged by a woman who is processing heartbreak. It surprises me how viral it got as Reading no. 29 or no. 30. I am curious how many couples actually use it. It has been around the Internet since 1996, but I wrote it around 1991.

I guess I am a published poet.

God Won't Let Global Warming Happen

2010-11-21T08:31:00.000-08:00

I love reading the Liberal Values blog, because Ron likes to cover the amazing things the Republicans do and say. It turns out that according to Rep. John Shimkus, we don't have to worry about Global Warming since the Bible said that God told Noah that,
“Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though all inclinations of his heart are evil from childhood and never again will I destroy all living creatures as I have done.
“As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, will never cease.”

Yes, it is absurd to use the Bible in place of a scientific argument. Ron also writes about the growing mainstreaming of replacing science and reason, with biblical belief. The Republican Party has become the supreme water-carrier for the interests who want to undermine science for their business plan or religious alignment. Adding to the absurdity, Rep. Shimkus wants to be the chairman of the Energy Committee which makes policy on the energy and the environment. This midterm election makes his appointment more likely.

Sir, if God controls what happens on Earth, him letting 230,000 people die around the Indian Ocean is a big message that life is cheap and there is no escaping the consequences of Global Warming. Personally, I do not think there is a God controlling what happens to our planet. We just happen to live on a planet with tectonic plates floating and crashing and gnashing against each other from time to time. We have tons of recorded history that proves God doesn't deliver us from ground cursing or life destructing events. People, animals, crops, homes, waters, nature gets wiped out all over the world. God did not sweep up and save people from the scourge of the Black Death in the Middle Ages, so God isn't going to deliver us from the effects of Global Warming.

Another thing to consider is that Global Warming won't necessarily destroy the planet, just make the planet drastically unable to maintain life on earth. Once the consequences wipe out the planet of humans, the earth will bounce back beautifully without us.

BJ Lifton Remembered

2010-11-20T08:22:00.000-08:00

In the 1990s, I became very involved in the adoption world. It is a time where I was allowed to think about being adopted. One of the seminal books about the adoptee experience was Betty Jean Lifton's book, Lost & Found:: An Adoption Experience. Why not everything in the book rang true to me, there were parts that really spoke to me and I was always grateful for her books being out there for adoptees and those who love them. I especially responded to her description of adopted persons feeling in limbo.

When I worked on Voices of Adoption, I made sure people knew about her books. She dug deep to give adoptees a vocabulary to describe what we are feeling and thinking. It was consoling to have someone give us permission to think about things we as adoptees were told we shouldn't even think about.

In my work in Voices of Adoption, I know that BJ's books were a lifeline for generations of adopted persons.

At the turn of the century, I went to Ethics in Adoption conference with Ron Morgan and I was able to meet BJ in person. She was just the most lovely lady. I didn't agree with her when she discussed the adoptee syndrome, but it was just a thrill for me to be able to speak with her.

After I left the adoption movement, I kept in touch with almost all the folk from the adoption world on Facebook. I was lucky to have BJ Lifton as a Facebook friend where she would share her life with her dear companions, Jingly and Maui. Through them she would offer her wise opinion on current events. They would always make me smile and think. When her dear Maui was thought lost out in the wild this Summer, we all held our breath until she found Maui in a cabinet. Her updates showed her incredible humor and humanity.

This morning I found out this wonderful lady passed away last night. We are all huddling together online today in shock and in sadness that she is no longer here. We have her books, but we will miss her caring, passion, and wisdom. Rest in Peace well BJ.

Grateful Dead @ Foxboro, MA 7-02-1989

2010-11-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

Sing by the Dresden Dolls

2010-11-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

Sing - The Dresden Dolls from MediaVox NYC on Vimeo.
The discovery of the Dresden Dolls came from stumbling upon Amanda Palmer and her ukulele on NPR's Radio 360 and they did mention and play a clip of he Dresden Dolls "Coin Operated Boy" which I love to pieces and am learning to play it on the ukulele.
If you read my blog and if you know me, you will know I love the Weimar culture and this band is in very much that aesthetic.

Santa Baby, Slip A Uke Under the Tree For Me...

2010-11-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

Eleuke Concert Black Metallic Jazz Ukulele CCJ100-MBK3e

Originally, I had been thinking of getting a Kala Archtop Jazz Electric Ukulele. While the sunburst is very popular, I was liking the solid black. There are a few videos that showed that you can get some very nice sounds from it whether you plug it in or not. The downside of hybrids is that you can get feedback.
I already have a nice Kala Exotic Mahogany Tenor ukulele, so all I need is a solid-body electric. Risa has these insane ukesticks and very artsy versions of ukuleles that are actually solid body electrics. The price and the elaborate string system keeps a Risa out of reach. Maybe someday, I will get a Risa.
So the other alternative is a Eleuke, which comes in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors. The style I like is the Jazz cutaway with f-holes and black metallic finish.
Why do I want an electric? While my hubby plays acoustic when he plays with me, he cannot help himself plugging in his electric guitar and blasting my little Tenor Uke out of the room. With an electric, I have a fighting chance. This little guy and all of the Eleukes have some neat features for someone like me. With these instruments, you can plug in headphones to be able to practice without bothering anyone. This means when the boys are in bed and I can't sleep I can go off somewhere and practice. Eleukes also allow you to plug in your mp3 player and play along to your favorite songs. The nobs can be adjusted to have a mellower, more ukulele sound or sound more like Jimmi Hendrix electric guitar. It is this feature that interests me since I do tend toward wanting to play blues, rock, alternative, and punkish stuff. When I want to play folk I can always bring out the acoustic.
Solid-body's are also thinner than acoustics and that might make it more comfortable to play.

The Dresden Dolls 'Coin-Operated Boy' music video

2010-11-11T08:45:00.000-08:00

I am working on a ukulele version of this song. This song is slathered in awesome sauce. I am also digging the direction and art direction of this video.

I Got Dreams Part. 2

2010-10-22T11:23:00.001-07:00

Algiers Motel Neon Sign Redwood City CA, originally uploaded by hmdavid.

The majority of my dreams involve me moving around in familiar territory that is skewed to be steep and perilous. One reoccurring dream is that I find myself walking up and down El Camino Real from Mountain View, CA to San Mateo. The picture from hmdavid and it features one of the countless neon signs along El Camino Real in Redwood City. My life has intersected this long boulevard of storefronts and neon of a certain age just before me. In my older elementary school days I would walk down this boulevard and take Karate or visit various stores. Crossing it would take me to the Redwood Roller Rink that played the City of New Orleans as we would circle around a dingy floor.

Later I when I lived in Menlo Park in Junior High and High School, I would go to various movie theaters and restaurants in Menlo Park and Palo Alto.

In my young adulthood I would find myself driving from Belmont to Burlingame for various reasons as I went to College of San Mateo to transfer to San Francisco State.

I once lived behind the Glass Slipper Motel in Palo Alto which is this motel that features neon outline of a castle -- where Cinderella would stay after she drops out of rehab.

I return to El Camino Real now a days and it is like there is a psychic imprint to this boulevard. No matter how hazy the memories can be, I feel them -- random faces, smells, sounds, and feelings. I am like an apparition retracing my steps in an infinite loop.

In my dreams, I am always walking here in the dark when the neon flickers and glows giving off this seedy beauty. The dreams are always hyper realistic when it comes to the storefronts and the maps of the offshoots from El Camino Real. As you venture off El Camino Real you know that this is a dreamscape. Everything is a steep climb. In fact, the entire Bay Area Peninsula is a steep incline into the bay. Some parts houses perch precariously and you have to be careful not to fall off when you go up and walk by these houses.

There is underlying gloom and wonder to the place. The stars and nebula often create a show like fireworks in the sky. The night is often less dangerous than the day, where some airplanes can randomly fall from the sky. Then you find yourself driving to the airport as you have a ticket to somewhere. You feel you need to hurry or you will miss a flight you dread. Once on board you can barely breathe from fright and the flight is terrifying (landing and take offs are very steep) but you arrive at what is supposed to be China, but it doesn't look like China. It is a lush jungle with storefronts with neon signs in Chinese. There were a lot of flowers.

The flights do take me to locales I am more familiar with London, Paris, Munich, Vienna, Boston, Amsterdam, and other points in Europe. They are heightened versions of themselves like they were Gritty Disney versions of the cities. You get the essences of the places but simplified with lots of grit. Gingerbread like inns that are crowded and dark hostels. In Boston, the T is hyper-exaggerated almost like a rollercoaster with stations that reach the entire East Coast from Maine to Philadelphia. Then there are tremendous high rise buildings that reach into the sky so that it is breathtaking when you take the elevator to the top. I enter a room to the top floor and I am scared to look out the window because I know it that if I look I may fall through the glass.

Then I will find myself in San Francisco always moving to different apartments and flats that will magically expand out to involve different floors. San Francisco is the most steep of cities in real life, but it is even more exaggerated.Cable cars are more like ski gondolas. The bay below is a turbulent body of water hitting against the rocks. San Francisco is a city that still has Playland at Ocean Beach and it is very run down.

In these dreams I am some kind of reality TV star and then I am in a dark club belting out "We'll Meet Again"

I Got Dreams Part. 1

2010-10-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

Once I had a sexy dream about Robert Reich. It surprised me only because as it came from out of the blue. It turns out NPR was playing his speech at The Commonwealth Club. It is not unusual that I dream the news on NPR. During the Persian Gulf War I had a dream that I was on a beach where troops were invading and I turned into a spider who could write in Arabic. Don't know what to make of that dream.

This sexy dream was a good dream and rarely do I have them. Occasionally, my ex-boyfriends will visit but they are normally awkward rather than sexy.

There is something very sexy about Reich. I know he is around 4'11" but I do not care. He is an attractive, smart economist. I thought he was great when he was our Labor Secretary under Clinton.

Of course, we are both happily married and there is no way anything would happen. He has only visited my dreams once and that was all I needed. Thanks for the memories, Robert.

Kitchen Remodel Over

2010-09-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

It is done -- our kitchen remodel or makeover is over. First lets take a peek what it used to look like. It was this aging, off-white kitchen that was begging for a new lease on life. It took 2-3 weeks to do not including all the pre-planning I did. I think it is important to pick everything you can possibly think of before the contractor comes, because you will always have stuff to get that you couldn't conceive of during the job. I feel that getting everything ready really saved us labor costs. Plus I was always willing to be gopher for my contractor so he can concentrate on getting tasks done.

It originally was a project to just replace the cooktop. Then you have to replace the counters. Then you should have a backsplash and then you gotta paint. If you paint you have to fix the walls. If you fix the walls, then you need to replace the light fixtures. If you replace the light fixtures, you will have to fix the faulty wiring you inherit. Sixty percent of the remodel went to labor and much of the work you do not see because they are fixes.

We reused our cabinets but tore out the soffit and put moulding up. We also added trim to them to give the cabinets new life for a small amount of time and money. The soffit above served no real purpose but to rob us of usable storage space. Prior to this I had nowhere to put my Lenox Butterfly Meadow Tea Set, now I do.

My goal was to bring color, character, and functionality to our kitchen without changing the footprint or layout of our kitchen. I couldn't do anything over the top since this kitchen is small and we live in a modest ranch home.

Tada! So here is the reveal. We have Metal Ocean Formica counters that features greens, blues, grays, and golds. For the backsplash, I used Verde Laguna Marble tile. The cooktop is a 30" Wolf gas cooktop. The marble is the splurge even though 8 sheets of it was $80 off eBay, the labor involved was significant because while my contractor can lay tile, but is attention to detail slows him down when dealing with small tile. I helped out by putting in all the spacers for him. Once he laid the tile, I took over and grouted, impregnated, and sealed the tile myself. By that time we were aware that we have hit the top end of our budget. So, we ended up taking care of the finishing touches ourselves.

Of course, it all started with replacing the cooktop. We had to cut off the existing bar because it was a fire hazard and looked dated. The person who had installed the bar, didn't do the proper measurements, and so there was an overhang over the back burners. I decided just to have our contractor make it a flat peninsula. I think this makes it look much more modern. People can pull up chairs and talk to me while I cook or prepare food. Before the bar was just a place to put stuff and it created a barrier between the kitchen and the living room.

We also replaced the exhaust fan since it had not worked since we moved in. We had the most unpleasant task cleaning out all the grease up there. It now works like a charm and the original fixture sparkles and adds to the stainless steel/chrome accents for the kitchen. If we need to have a better exhaust system we can purchase a rooftop fan for about 200-300 bucks and it will give us a significant amount of CFMs. We had a real problem finding an affordable hood that wouldn't take up the tiny kitchen and be low profile. So far we haven't found we needed the extra CFMs.

We have since moved the DVDs shown here and moved up a hutch for our dining room area now that our son is old enough to have furniture with glass.The hutch is an old one that has been beaten up over the years, but I was able to clean it up and accessorize it to hussy it up a bit.

Eventually I would like to put a wine rack and shelf from Pottery Barn up around it. It would be nice to have a place to store our wines.

It makes me happy we have a proper dining room area that is more adult. It makes me happier that we didn't have to spend anything in accomplishing that. I just used what I had stored away. This looks better when I have a table cloth that is burnt orange

I am really liking how the tile came out. There is a real variation to the tile from dark to pale green with streaks of gold or white. There are pictures below that show the variations better, but this is a nice close up against the Metal Ocean counter.

I got the idea of pairing tile with the Formica by searching for photos on the Internet and noticed all the photos I liked of the Formica had a tile backsplash rather than a Formica one. It was a gamble to get the tile when I really couldn't see the countertop until it was finished an delivered. Swatches, even large ones do not do the design justice. It really looks better than the swatches suggest. Fortunately the countertop and tile work well together and both work well with the wall color.

The only catch was the wall color, Kelly Moore Calypso Breeze, turns out to be not the color we used in the living room after all. The livingroom is more a greenish blue than Calypso Breeze, which is more of a proper blue. I am now thinking this color was some wacky custom shade we will never figure out.

Removing the soffit allows me to store and display my tea set and bring in my Quan Yin statue. Did I tell you how much I love that moulding? It was beautifully done and just adds that special something to the kitchen. The cabinets look more solid and hides the fact that these cabinets were resurfaced in the 1980s. I really love how the wall color goes with the tea set and statue, but also with the cabinets. I really put thought into how all the color choices I made complemented each other.

We added more storage with stainless steel shelving from a restaurant supply store. They are both 84" 18 gauge stainless steel shelves. They replaced white shelving that was not very appropriate for kitchen use. We reused them down in the garage that we turned into a game room for all the boardgames we have. I like that there is a lip that will keep things from falling off. Again, I am happy how the stainless steel goes with the wall color.

The curtains are linen shades from Pottery Barn, which give privacy and window dressing without sacrificing natural light.

Speaking of light, we replaced the light fixtures. The one you see in this photo has a green design on the frosted glass. New lighting fixtures are a simple way to update the space.

The table there is for groceries, homework, and for me to organize stuff. I can help with homework and make dinner.

Light blue and green are actually very hot color combo and I can see why. You can add splashes of red and white with the golden wood to good effect. I have even been able to throw in bits of fuchsia and bright blue.

I am extremely happy with the result. I have learned that you really do not need granite countertops or solid surface countertops to update a kitchen. You can get great results with a laminate like Formica. If you have the money and absolutely LOVE a solid surface option then, of course, get that counter. My experience is that there was no design of granite or solid surface that was worth the drastic leap in price. It was $480.00 to get both counters done. To get Caesarstone, I would have to spend about 5k. Given this remodel cost more than we were planning, the added cost of 5k would have been just unbearable. The thing is I wasn't in LOVE with any of the solid options. Plus, there are trade off with all types of solid surface options. Going with Formica allowed us to do a lot more with the kitchen as a whole.

Ridding Our House of Wallpaper

2010-08-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

6:50pm - Green Wallpaper Peeling in a Grandmother's House by Marc Shank
Part of the 10-piece "Scurvyville" Series
Acrylic on Stretched Canvas
4 feet x 3.75 feet
Before the Summer of 2004, wallpaper did not concern me. No where in my heritage did it touch me as I never seemed to encounter it. I may have watched a situation comedy about people trying to put up wallpaper in a comically argumentative way. It may just as well been an activity of beings from a distant planet. What a strange custom! Living in San Francisco, home of Victoriania, I only encountered moulding -- never wallpaper.

There was a scene from the Cohen Brothers' Barton Fink with melting and curling wallpaper. It was supposed mean something-- unraveling layers of Hell?

I guess when I was playing "The Sims" which is a computer game that is sort of like playing with paper dolls I did select wallpaper for the houses we built if paint wasn't enough. Even then I think I opted for paint. Walls are supposed to be a canvas where you hang art or have someone do a mural of paint or tile.

Our move to Marin introduced me to wallpaper -- its horror presented itself immediately. What seemed like innocuous floral print wallpaper which came off deceptively easy revealed layers and layers of suburban archeology in paper and adhesive. First was the painted over layer of wallpaper -- who knows what it depicted and who cares? Beneath the next was the brownish duck hunting motif, which must have been from the sixties. Beneath that and the final layer of wallpaper was a teal and pink Dutch Girl and tulip motif. Good God, what were they thinking?

In the dead center of a sweltering Summer, it was just me and the wallpaper steamer. The wallpaper steamer could have been filled by my tears. This was what Hell was like. Heaven is being in a coffee shop while Henry the Coffee Guy roasts the beans. Hell was removing wallpaper.

No one told us that while being a non-toxic, the wallpaper steamer wrecks the drywall. According to wikipedia you can score the wallpaper and use a water and vinegar mixture to get it off. There is also chemicals you can use to eat at the adhesive. I notice that every method I hear about never promises you easy success. When you watch home improvement shows, they edit out the part when they removed the wallpaper. They know as I know that if they showed what you needed to do to remove wallpaper, it would turn people off on home improvement. It is that horrid. All you see is the host cheerfully saying, "After we removed the wallpaper and painted, it made such a difference."

A contractor we know said it is not unheard of just removing the drywall with the wallpaper and just replace the drywall.

It is another Summer and I did have to remove wallpaper in the kitchen, and if I am lucky we will grit our teeth and remove the last remaining bit of wallpaper in one of the bathrooms. Then I will never ever go near wallpaper again unless it is a part of an anti-wallpaper art piece.

"The most common wall covering for residential use and generally the most economical is prepasted vinyl coated paper, commonly called "strippable" which can be misleading." - Wikipedia

Cue bitter laughter.

Resistance is Fertile: Sitting on a Red Couch chatting with Fidel

2010-08-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

© 2007 – 2010 Michael Eastman Red Couch, Havana

Visiting Kitchen Clarity yielded this gem of a photo, Red Couch, Havana from photographer, Michael Eastman. Beautiful. It makes me want to spend time in Havana. Needless to say I have to add Havana to my list of places to visit. Look at his photos and you will find Havana's architecture is off-the-hook. I appreciate the faded opulence with rustic communism. Then you have these moorish detail and Caribbean colors, audacious but perfect contrasts. Pale blue walls with a red couch. I am certain my red Kitchenaid Artisan blender will look great with my pale wall.

Oh Fidel, I am so sorry my bourgeoisie house-wifishness is showing. What I mean is blue, green, white, and red are revolutionary combos and neutral colors are counter-revolutionary.

Michael Eastman also has Abstractions. Here is one of my favorites, "Resistance is Fertile." Indeed it is - a play on "Resistance is Futile". Saying that resistance is fertile is so hopeful as it is subversive.

While I think that simply tagging is mindless and evil vandalism, thoughtful and clever graffiti that makes a statement is acceptable. It is often inspired when it is an act of media or culture jamming. Surfaces that have layers of posters, paint, and graffiti have a certain beauty to them. They are multi-sourced collages of urbanity. They add color and food for thought. In films as well as real life it is the way for the streets to mumble and make graphical shouts of resistance. Sadly, I haven't come across any inspired graffiti in very long time.

Then there is the nature of resistance. What are you resisting, what can't you resist? Do we even know how to resist anymore?

We were nearly reduced to a landscape of lost hobos by a financial system that allowed no resistance against the forces of consumerism. If you couldn't resist that new 50k-70k kitchen it was okay you could always borrow against your house. It used to be what helped people resist buying something was that they couldn't buy it until they had enough money to pay for it.

A young relative once sold us a used vehicle in a pinch. In order to take our check they had to do a credit check. She fluttered back to us chirping that with our high credit rating we could buy a pair of NEW Escalades! The reason why we could is because we don't do things like buy twin Escalades. One of our friends called their credit union and found out he could borrow a five figure sum and was psyched that he could buy a sporty utility vehicle. It was like an old joke that goes, "How can I have run out of money, I still have checks!"

It is like the 1990s where people were making purchases on paper money that was merely paper money on a whole precarious house of cards. People made fun of me for not investing entirely in tech stocks. It is like how a whole generation of people were using their homes as ATMs, and looking down on us for not following suit and keeping up at night. Later, I got to witness the wicked aftermath of the downturns and the effect they had on people and communities around me. I got angry after this latest downturn as it effected me even though I played no role in it and tried to warn people of the coming downturn and what they were doing was based on crazy wishful thinking.

Blue Window Grid by Michael Eastman

Why is this all boiling to the surface today, Fidel? It was a thread on Gardenweb, a forum for home improvement (which is just another way to encourage the anti-revolutionary consumerism), about counters. It starts with a question about how far to go when there is no pressing need, but a desire to refresh the kitchen. There was a spouse who also wanted to work on another room as well and wanted to wait to do anything significant with the kitchen. Formica was brought up as an option. There was granite, she only liked the granite that was at the top of the price range. You could tell that there was a significant coven of those who love granite and were trying to convince her that granite was better than Formica and her husband is just being cheap. It is one thing to prefer granite. It is another to make judgments on those who choose Formica or a laminate over the trendy granite (a material I don't even like and is not appropriate for all kitchens).

It is with a certainty I tell you that there are hundreds if not thousands of foreclosed homes and people who are house-poor that granite is a cold comfort. If I went with granite and later my family had to go without because I spent part of our cushion on it, I couldn't look at it without a sense of shame. When I look at Formica, I can look at it guilt free. $500.00 bucks as opposed to $5k. Oh, that's easy.

After this thread, getting Formica is a form of resistance. It is a resistance to this mentality that we should all have neutral colored, over-sized granite kitchens that look like what all the magazines and television shows (I am looking at YOU HGTV, guilty pleasure that you are!).

New battle cry: F*ck that, I'm getting Formica! Viva Le resistance!

Now I would love to do concrete or Earthcrete (it is not shiny like granite) counters, floors, sinks, and fireplaces and just go crazy refacing my house and do the backyard with a pool. It would be beautiful. I do not need that to be happy. It is not a need, but a want. More likely it is stuff of a really involving fantasy. I see how people, even I, blur the distinction between want and need. The difference is that I slap myself out of it and keep it a fantasy. It would surely be a turn on to turn our house into a work of art. I am just going to scale it down so when the revolution starts I will be passed over by the masses for the counter-revolutionary granite owners.

It is no secret I have a luxury real estate fetish. The sexiness of the properties I love isn't the prestige or necessarily the opulence. The 20 million and higher properties tend to be too garish for me. Around 3-10 million can get you a place with history and beautiful architectural features that is absent from the countless hills of McMansions. The attraction is often location -- Paris, an ocean, Merrikesh, Istanbul, Southern France, and Southern Italy. My fetish is for craftsmanship that has disappeared perhaps as far back as the Industrial Revolution. My fetish is for evidence of the artisan. It is also just a fetish of a person who loves looking at pretty things but through the eyes of someone who is unconventional. I had a needlepoint of Lenin hanging over my son's changing table.

Resistance is fertile because it gives birth to new possibilities, new thinking, and new attitudes. It frees you from conventional, cookie cutter little boxes. Resist and see what happens.

Not surprisingly, one of my many fantasies involves running the revolution in halls and parlors of exquisite architecture or being a vagabond being able to move from luxury villa to luxury schooner to vintage teardrop trailer. With henna'd hair and tattoos, smelling of vintage perfume, and wearing comfortable shoes I am looking forward to going on a journey whether it is outward or inward. Wanna come along?

Amanda, Ukulele, and Radiohead

2010-08-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

More often than not I am awake when Studio360 is on the radio where NPR plays all day in our bedroom. Being as I love the ukulele and am teaching myself how to play, I was immediately interested in a woman, Amanda Palmer, who was doing Radiohead covers with her ukulele. In her interview she said she learned that when you play the uke it makes you pay attention to vocals. The uke kinda strips you naked and gives you the space to bare your soul, reveal your humor, or just play vocally.

There is something about Palmer that intrigues me to explore her work. I will write up a review when I get to listen to her album of Radiohead songs.

The ukulele, the people's instrument, is truly versatile.

Now I must get back to playing.

Falling into Place and Setting a Date

2010-08-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

Today we picked up the Metal Ocean counters that we ordered last Friday. They look better than I hoped. No matter how big the samples are (I got multiple 5x7 samples even), they never do the counter justice. You really notice the golden color, which will compliment the cabinets. By the way, I do have lots of Formica and Wilsonart samples if anyone needs. As you may know already, my tile is in and I am very happy. I will go 5 inches with the 1 inch tile, but 3 inches up I am inserting a row of the 5/8 inch tile to make it more interesting. Plus, I couldn't send them back because I love them so.

We just spoke with our contractor and we are tentatively set to start work on the kitchen 8/30.

I had a friend come over yesterday and she thinks that the color we used was Calypso Breeze. She even remembers me saying something about Calypso Breeze back six years ago.
Since we cannot agree on a green and the off-whites/yellows are too creamy for stainless steel, we are going with the blue Calypso Breeze. It goes with the cabinets and the tile, since anything I picked had to go with the blue since the kitchen borders with the dining and living room space.

Speaking of stainless steel, I was hoping someone could give us advice on the shelving whether we should go with 16 gauge or 18 gauge stainless steel shelves. Currently we are looking for two 84" inch stainless steel shelves. I imagine we will be putting our bowls, colanders, electrical gadgets, steamers, and recipe books.

We are getting rid of the soffits and updating the light fixtures.

This month better roll by quickly.

Tile Arrival and the Color Crisis of 2010

2010-08-03T15:54:00.001-07:00

Good news. The tile is here. The bad news is that the blue I wanted isn't Benjamin Moore Caribbean Mist, but some blue from KELLY MOORE. Six years when we painted my son was 7 months old and I am pretty hazy I guess. Thanks to a friend on Gardenweb's Kitchen discussion board, I was able to go and get a fandeck of Kelly Moore colors and it is between two colors: Dreamy Space and Calypso Breeze for matching the wall.

My secret hope is for Dreamy Space to win, but it is so close.

Just so you know I can think outside of the box. Here is a gold color that would pick up the gold in the counter.

Here below is the tile with a series of off-whites: Swiss Coffee, Frost, Bone, and some other color. Bone caught my eye and I am thinking Swiss Coffee as accent.

So I am not sure what I want to do. I can see if I can get testers for the blues, because we still need to touch up the existing paint. Another consideration is I can go a slightly darker shade of blue. It turns out we are going to keep the little tile and make a single row in the upper half of the backsplash.

Kindred Kitchen Spirit

2010-08-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

This image is from Sabjimata's blog and I admire her color scheme and use of stainless steel shelving. Check out the rest of her photos and there is a kindred spirit in terms of the design aesthetic I like. Hers is a larger kitchen than we have, but I think that we can achieve the spirit of this space on just a smaller scale. We will probably get the stainless steel shelves when we pick up our counters. Stainless shelves seem more substantial than particle board and project more culinary gravitas.
Shhh...don't tell my husband, but I am contemplating re-purposing a french style dresser we have in storage as a kitchen sideboard to go under the stainless steel shelves. It has a a lot of drawers where kitchen stuff can go. We can put white ceramic tile or some on it cheaply. Leave me alone googling kitchen ideas plus have me go to a French themed store that has our French style dresser repainted -- i get dangerous ideas.

Part of me wants to get a working green rotary phone for the kitchen, but when we call Kaiser advice line, we do need to have a touchtone phone. Otherwise, I am hankering for some analog goodness. That is a whole nother post.

My husband gets nervous when I start visualizing and imagining what we can do with our living space. What he must realize that those musings are far less expensive than my other daydreaming topic -- luxury real estate. Honey, it is either this, or a villa in South of France. Stay tuned because at some point I am going to share some properties in France that I have fallen in love with.

Be back soon.

Caribbean Mist to the Rescue?

2010-08-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

In my determination to have a "Green Kitchen" I found the most beautiful green marble tile, but what color would the walls be? I would have to find a shade of green my RG Colorblind hubby could register nicely, that is pale enough to focus the attention on the tile.
After being disappointed by too many green paints and by the mixing skills of Home Depot, I am retreating to a color I know works with the lighting of the house -- Benjamin Moore's Caribbean Mist. The answer to my color problem was staring me right in the face as I painted our computer room Caribbean Mist. It is in our livingroom/dining room that looks onto the kitchen. Having a pale blue, medium/pale green, and white is a scheme that seems to work in rooms including kitchens.

This feels like a breakthrough. So we can do pale blue walls, white trim and ceiling, and green marble tile. I can still do those Pottery Barn white curtains. I may have to consider sturdy white wood cafe shelving (shown below) instead of the stainless steel (either one would work). Not sure if we have to paint the cabinets yet, but I am open to it. We could paint the cabinets white or a matching green to the tile.

Let's not forget the Metal Ocean countertop. Metal Ocean has both blue and green hues that could play off both the green tile and the pale blue walls.

So tomorrow I am going to make a trek to Benjamin Moore and get some Caribbean Mist, since I need some to touch up the walls in the livingroom, dining room, and computer room.
The benefit of going with the Caribbean Mist is that I know it is a color I can live with. It is also a color that can go with stainless steel as well as white.

A Blue Kitchen

2010-08-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

Should I just paint the kitchen the same color as the adjoining livingroom and diningroom? It would go with the stainless steel shelving, countertops, white trim, and make the green tile pop. There is a chance that we have leftover paint in semi-gloss left. Of course, the photo does no justice to the countertop sample.

Kitchen Paint and the Road Ahead

2010-07-31T07:40:00.001-07:00

Originally, I was going to go with Celery Ice by Behr, but the color really didn't work on our walls. My husband eyes register yellow greens far better so I turned to a yellow green (Behr Feldspar), a green yellow (Behr Home Song), and a yellow (Behr Garlic Clove). Using Photoshop, I was able to insert my tile and countertop. Once I finish prepping the walls I am going to try out the testers I bought to see which one we like.

The tile and countertop should be arriving next week. By then, the walls will be ready for our contractor to fix what is wrong with our walls and paint. Then he can install the counters, cooktop, and the tile. We had inherited some bad patches on the walls that were covered badly by poorly put on wallpaper. We tried to fix it ourselves but wasn't happy with the results. We are going to do as much of the prep work we can ourselves, so he can just come in and finish up.

We are also contemplating getting commercial stainless steel shelves for our kitchen storage for bare walls that are 88 inches long. I want to break it down for 2 56 inch shelves and 2 36 inch shelves, because in the future if we want to put in a 36 inch refrigerator or double oven, we can take out and reuse the 36 inch shelves elsewhere more easily than 84 inch selves.

A lot of this work will involve organizing the entire house. Our house is cluttered and we need to find a way to simplify, declutter, and make our house work better for day-to-day living, but also to entertain kids and adults.

Metal Ocean vs. Seagrass Strand

2010-07-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

It is frustrating that I cannot seem to get an accurate hue on these pictures.

So it really is between Metal Ocean and Seagrass Strand.

Metal Ocean.

Seagrass Strand.

My concern is that the Seagrass may be too busy against our floors. What do you think?

This is Metal Ocean against our floors.

The Green Kitchen

2010-07-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

The other night I found curtains from Pottery Barn which are a linen and cotton blend. For all the accents, I am selecting Behr's Snowfall White to go with the white dishwasher, wall oven, and ceiling fan. These curtains will go over the sink and the large window on the other side of the kitchen. I like these curtains because they have the texture of linen, but still let light come in. They create a romantic airiness without being to over-the-top frilly. These curtains will soften the kitchen and give it more of a French look without going overboard.We can easily adjust how much light we want to come out by adjusting the length. This would pair nicely with white curtain rods I found at Amazon. There is also a French wall clock that will fit the theme.

So overall, I have light maple, pale greens, white, and stainless steel. Depending on which countertop I pick I will either be continuing the pale green theme with Seagrass Strand, or introducing pale blue and gold with pale green. Green is the jell of the room and the white softens it all. I can add more greens through potted herbs, kitchen rug, and trivets. Will be adding stainless steel kitchen shelving and possibly a worktable.

On Saturday Morning was able to go over my choices with a good friend, who I had helped when she needed to paint her house for sale. While I am still waiting on the Seagrass Strand countertop sample, I am getting closer to my final vision. Unless the Seagrass Strand knocks me off my feet, I will be going with the Metal Ocean. Metal Ocean is like an impressionist painting. It goes real well with the tile, stainless steel, and the wall color which is now Behr's Celery Ice.

While Spring Bud Celery Ice by Behr is a brighter, less muddy form of green than the Spring Bud.

It comes down to two possible Formica tops after ordering countless samples from both Formica and Wilsonart.

In backsplash news, I found a source on Ebay that sells a sheet of 1 inch Verde Laguna marble tile for $9.99 a 12"x12" sheet - way cheaper than the 5/8 tile I found locally. They have free shipping. This pricing makes doing a 6 inch backsplash on both counters feasible. Ordered! The Verde Laguna tile is my favorite feature and everyone I have shown it to has absolutely and universally loved it. There are so many lovely variations of green. When we impregnate and enhance the stone it will be even more beautiful. Total tile material cost: 80.00 dollars US.

So the theme of the kitchen is Green French kitchen integrating pond creatures like frogs, butterflies, dragonflies, damselflies, and lilipads. The theme will fit our Lenox Butterfly Meadow dishes.

Still Reconsidering Countertops

2010-07-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

Below are some pictures of Seagrass Strand and Metal Ocean. The first two are the Seagrass Strand and the last one is Metal Ocean. I have asked my supplier if these come in different finishes...

Update: Just found out that Metal Ocean and Seagrass Strand come only in Matte finish. Is the Matte finish going to be boring? They will be less expensive than the Crystalline Iris which is the top of the line Wilsonart, while Metal Ocean and Seagrass Strand is the bottom of the Formica. I really wish that they had a texture. What I liked about Madras Indian Slate is that it was honed. Crystalline Iris has texture to it and has a deeper more interesting pattern.

Plan B For The Kitchen

2010-07-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

Math is hard. If I want the the green tile I cannot do the entire kitchen without it costing $500.00 or more materials and labor for just the tile. We can do it, but that is not what I envisioned my tile budget being. Another option is to just focus on the peninsula where the new cooktop is. We still cannot do stone for the countertops, but I can get Wilsonart Crystalline Iris with the Verde Laguna 5/8 inch tumbled marble. I have more leeway with the color when it is just the peninsula and it is a feature in the kitchen, rather than a pervasive color throughout the kitchen.

My tile budge gets cut drastically and cut the countertop budget somewhat. We can paint the entire kitchen a light green taking the terrible wallpaper off. The cabinets are being cleaned out and have this great green reed liner paper. The money we save in tile can go to electrical, lighting, painting, and shelving. When we do the major kitchen remodel, then we only have to undo just a little tile to get new counters.

It is scary how mission creep happens. We just need to focus in getting the peninsula in so we can have a new stove. I have to remember the kitchen will be a great improvement with the new peninsula and cooktop.

UPDATE: If we keep the paint color the lightest green, we are able to have the Wilsonart Crystalline Iris on both counters. The deal is that we will have the laminate backsplash and save money.

New Color Scheme

2010-07-19T19:11:00.001-07:00

So I am rebounding. I am opting for the Formica Metal Ocean, Spring Bud paint for the walls, and Verde Laguna 5/8 inch tumbled marble. In the morning I may go over and see if I can add pale light blue to it. Behind the color chip is the maple cabinets we have.

So the poster above is going to be my muse for my kitchen color scheme.

I also think this draw pull might be nice. Some sort of Frog drawer or cabinet pull is needed. Because I am weird.

Another possibility is to use seagrass strand, which I also like because it is more zen, but I am not sure how it would look with the cabinets. I know it would look lovely with the tile.

What do you think?

Back to Square One

2010-07-19T13:35:00.001-07:00

Finally got to show hubby what I wanted and he said that the countertop I picked out looked like vomit. Of course this throws me into a loop. I am at my wits end to find a light enough kitchen for him that pleases my green/blue fetish.

Help me.

Vizualizing the New Tile Design

2010-07-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Through the power of Photoshop I was able to visualize what my new backsplash might look like. I will go to Home Depot to verify, but i think it might work. The question is: will this Cypress Green paint work?

More Kitchen Stuff

2010-07-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

Went to The Big Orange Box to look at paint and tile and found this lovely combo to go with the Madras Indian Slate countertop. It is a way to bring in real stone without breaking the bank. It would be under $150.00 in materials to make the space more finished. Right now, we have this textured offwhite wallpaper that was not applied very well and is coming undone. My favorite part is the slate mosaic because it ties in all the colors of the laminate. Seeing the slate up-close makes me want to redo our brick fireplace with larger slate, since the colors are so awesome and would go well with the pale blue walls.

So basically I have to come up with an 8 inch tile design with these tiles. With a 8 inch design we will need less tile since I was planning for 12 inch backsplash. Hopefully I can do two rows of slate sandwiched between a Giallo Sienna (cream tile) with cream borders.

Below is an alternate backsplash that I am looking at. It is more formal and elaborate. It is amazing how the colors match up to the Madras Indian Slate. The picture doesn't do it justice. It does play up more of the blue slate. Another option is to do a combo of both the diamond pattern with the mosaic tile. I can find a thin cream tile border, then have a row of mosaic tile, large cream tile, diamond pattern, large cream tile, row of mosaic tile, and thin cream border. My preference is actually for the top one because it is so simple and unpretentious. I really, really love the color of those mosaic slate.

Would it be too much to just have the mosaic slate tile? Hmmm.

My reasoning for a tile backsplash is that it will make the laminate look less like laminate if there is no laminate backsplash. Pictures of both Autumn Indian Slate and Madras Indian Slate had a tile backsplash without the Formica backsplash. I guess that is the trick to making your Formica look little less like Formica and more like stone. We will paint the kitchen walls green, put up new shelving.

Now I am going to have to check if my contractor will help us with this.

I promise! No more after this. What is great about this plan is that allows us to update the kitchen in stages.

Kitchen Mini-Makeover

2010-07-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

This all started before we moved into the house. Someone made a kitchen peninsula with a bar, but failed at math and made the bar overhang precariously by the back burners. The work-around would be just to use the front burners. This was great as long as the front burners worked, but they soon failed. There were many attempts to fix the Kitchenaid cooktop to no avail. So we have burn marks on the Formica back splash. Finally, the family faced the reality that the cooktop needed to be replace as well as the counter top.

What we will do is to make the peninsula all one level since we never used the bar as a bar. Then replace both the cooktop and the Formica counter. The new counter will be 5' x 3' and the cooktop will be 30" to allow for workspace.

After long research and comparing all the cooktops in person with our largest pots, we ultimately decided on the Wolf 30" gas cooktop. Initially we were interested in the open burner cooktop from Blue Star. With its 22k btu burner, I was worried about whether our kitchen was able to deal with the heat generated and have the expertise to make sure we had the gas lines for it. Then I researched comparable cooktops from Viking, Thermador, and Miele. They were all in the $1500 - $1700 price range. We did look at lower end cooktops with our pots and pans, but nothing looked that good. Our Kitchenaid that we paid $900.00 didn't last 5 years until it started giving out. The mid-range GE Profile and Monogram cooktops didn't really float our boat when we saw them in person with our pots. The Wolf had the most room for our biggest pans we use and had the controls on the side instead of the front. It seemed to be the most solid. We liked the knobs and the dual burner system on all 4 burners. You can turn on the burners by turning it on high to low cooking that would control the top burner. Then you can press down the knob and go into simmer mode which is a feature I cannot wait to explore.

I did the research and Wolf had the best burners. Best simmer. Really strong boiling. The majority of our cooking is boiling, steaming, simmer, and saute.

In person, the burners just looked better -- made of a composite material that is considered to be superior.

At first, I didn't want Formica Laminate. I did order many samples just in case the quotes on solid surfaces (ie. Corian) and Quartz (Caesarstone) were too high. You would think that only having 15 sq ft of counter would be cheaper than $1,500.00 dollars or $1,920.00 dollars for the Caesarstone. My instincts were right. When we saw the quote for Formica for one counter, we figured that we could go ahead and have the other counter done as well. That means that I was unleashed in the color I can choose. So I think I am going to go with the honed Madras Indian Slate (pictured here).

I think that to go with a marble like surface for this kitchen is a little silly. We have a small kitchen, so going with a more modestly scaled slate is the way to go.

The honed Madras Indian Slate also has a matte testure to it that I like. Many of the top of the line HD Wilsonart that I was considering had too much shine to it, even though I liked the design on them. The Madras Indian Slate has golden hue that picks up the floors and the current cabinets. Since the color scheme in the house is blue and green, I appreciate that this surface features green and blues. You can also see wisps of cream and brown. I decided against a light color surface because it would hide stains better. With my light washed maple I figured that it would be a nice contrast.

It is true that I wanted Caesarstone over laminate. It just didn't make sense to do so now when we were not doing a major redesign and we have a son who is almost 7. I can see when he is a teenager and his friends are over looking for food things can go wrong. I would rather spend the money on high quality appliances for now and the near future, because that effects the functioning of the kitchen. This house is going to be in the family for a long time, so we do not have to think about putting surfaces to please potential buyers. If that were so I think we would have invested in a neutral quartz top.

The picture above gave me an idea that we can paint the cabinets this green color if we want to change up the kitchen even more. I really want to steal this look. I am still looking at green paint we can use for the cabinets and a wall color.

My long term vision for this kitchen is to redo the corner by the cooktop where the wall oven and refrigerator. I would replace the oven, when it fails, with a double oven. I would take out the current refrigerator and get a larger one and put it at the end of the counter with the sink on it. This would give us room to replace the 27" oven witha 30 or 36 inch double oven. Then we can put a counter for additional space and put the microwave and shelving there. Where we would put a large refrigerator (not too big for the scale of the kitchen) we can continue the cabinets into the breakfast nook to provide the storage space we lost with the double oven.

What we are doing now I will be sure to post before and after photos to let you in on the fun.

Love and the Human Soul

2010-06-15T17:45:00.001-07:00

~ Amore e Psiche ~, originally uploaded by dujarandille.

While searching around for James Tissot's paintings, I came upon this statue, Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss by Antonio Canova. This can be found in the Louvre and now I remember this as I remember being struck in awe over The Winged Victory of Samothrace. Winged Victory stood out more since it was so much older (190 BC) and I marveled at the movement of the piece. Not only could you feel the sea breeze, but you could tell it was a damp sea breeze. At the time, in 1984, I was 18 years old and developed the deep appreciation for statues. Some people get hung up on where the head or arms are. Fate or circumstances collaborated with the artist to edit the form to its essential being. To me, Winged Victory of Samothrace is absolutely perfect as it is.

Canova's Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss is more conventially beautiful and intact, but still impactful. Psyche's gaze upward and Cupid's tender examination of her face creates a moment where stone isn't stone. This moment is not unlike the moment created in Dore's Enigma between the angel and the Spinx. Instead of the Spinx' paw on the angel's head, you have Cupid cupping her head in his hand. Knowing the legend of Cupid and Psyche adds another layer to this piece. Their daughter is Delight or Goddess of "sensual pleasure," but the relationship between Cupid and Psyche is plagued with problems. Psyche's future Mother-in-law, Goddess of Love, is jealous by her beauty and perhaps doesn't think a mere mortal is good enough for her son. So she devises tests and tricks, which Psyche for the most part passes with help from those who are taken with her. She falls into sleep when she opens the box that was supposed to have beauty in it, but only had a sleep spell. Her vanity sets up this moment where Cupid brings her back from sleep. One could say that this moment in the story portrays how immortality and the divinity appeciates the human soul even in its imperfection.

Thanks dujarandille for taking this photo and capturing its spirit. Photographing a statue requires the ability to find that certain angle and lighting that brings out the essence of the piece. I think dujarandille does this and his sepia filter gives it the sense of romance and warms up the statue.

At some point, I am going to have to share with you my impressions of my visit to see Michaelangelo's David and his unfinished pieces in Florence, Italy.

WTF Pablo?!?

2010-06-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

"Pablo Picasso was never called an a**hole" - Burning Sensations by way of The Modern Lovers

In 1907 Pablo Picasso and his girlfriend Fernande Olivier adopted a 13 year old orphan, Raymonde (one source has her being 10 years old). They adopted her after childless Fernande nagged Pablo to adopt an orphan. How hard could it be as Matisse had a 13 year old daughter? Again, with the rivalry with Matisse. It took only 4 months to figure out that this girl was just getting in the way. In Wayne Andersen's Picasso's brothel: les demoiselles d'Avignon cites that Pablo did some sketches of Raymonde that were disturbing in its sexual undertones (ew!). Biographers get the impression that Raymonde herself may have picked up on the creepy vibes from daddy Pablo. It has also been pointed out that Pablo dated younger and younger women. The sketch on the left here was a sketch of Raymonde on May 1907.

This couple didn't have the courage to send her back themselves. They got their friend Max Jacob to do the deed. He took her to the orphanage where the workers told him he was a bad father and that if he goes through this he cannot adopt again. Raymonde cries. Max cries. Max takes Raymonde for a meal, but ultimately he has to dump her at the orphange. Max covered for Pablo and Fernande while they never really treated him well. Pablo and Fernande end up breaking up anyway and later Pablo cites that they really broke up over Raymonde.

When the Nazis came to take Max away for being Jewish (even though he converted to Catholicism years prior) Pablo did nothing to help his friend. WTF, Pablo. Practice cowardice much?

I may very well end up reading several biographies to figure out what happened and WTF is wrong with you. I love your work. I was close to being 18 in 1984 when I took the AP European History exam where one of the essay questions asked me to analyze Guernica. My heart danced, my eyes brightened, and I said to myself, "Cake!" I rocked that essay and ever since loved that painting. That painting is timeless as it describes the horror of war and the innocence of the civilians who get caught in the crossfire. How can someone so brilliant can be such an (shall I say it) a**hole? I will probably end up reading about your biggest supporter, Gertrude Stein, too. She indulged you like so many others because of your brilliance.

My thoughts turn to Raymonde. What happened to Raymonde? Born in 1894, she is most likely dead. Did she survive the Flu epidemic? Did she survive WWII? That could be an interesting story.

It's Uku-Licious Baby

2010-06-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

At the end of April I bought myself a Kala Tenor Ukulele (KA-TEM) at a local music store. This uke stood out with its beautiful grain patterns and when i plucked it the sound was warm and full. It was on sale for $124.00 so I took it home. Almost immediately I printed out songs from the internet and went about learning songs and building callouses. For the longest time I longed to play an instrument and the uke is small enough for my short fingers. When I get into the groove of a song it is such a high for me. I am still a year or two away from really being able to perform anything. At this point I have to get my friends drunk before I play for them. So when I bring my uke, I also bring a bottle of booze.

Impressions of The Birth of Impressionism

2010-05-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

On May 21st I went to The Birth of Impressionism: Masterpieces from the Musée d'Orsay at the DeYoung Museum in San Francisco with my friend, who is a member. It was a preview for members as the exhibit runs from May 22 to September 6th. To prepare for my trip I read this most excellent book called, The Private Lives of the Impressionists. It featured a detailed account of the 1870-1871 Franco-Prussian War through the eyes of the Impressionists. So when I saw this over 6ft painting, Enigma by Gustave Dore at the exhibit it stopped me in my tracks. This painting was a startling departure from all the colors and light of the impressionists. This dark painting in grays features an angel imploring the spinx for succor and the spinx looks down at her with his paw on her head. This is a poignant moment amongst the mangled war dead and Paris burning in the background. Its large size helps you make out the detail better in the darkness of the painting. It was aptly sobering as the annus terrible itself.

The rest of the show was absolutely beautiful and makes one want to spend hours and perhaps days at the actual Musée d'Orsay rather than quench one's desire. One of my favorites was from Alfred Stevens (1817-1875) painting, The Bath. This painting was considered scandalous at the time as all the Impressionist's work was. What I love about this paining is how she relaxed in a luxurous bath holding roses with a beautiful robe and book open. In person, this painting's colors were sumptuous. The woman's expression is one of thoughtful contentment who really doesn't care to acknowledge the audience. This woman knows how to relax and surround herself with beautiful things. She is not even paying attention to the watch in the soapdish. This redhead is a reader and dreamer like myself. I indentified with this woman.

Speaking of dreamers, another painting I loved was James Tissot's The Dreamer (Summer Evening). Now, Tissot (1836–1902) is not normally considered a heavy hitter in the legion of Impressionists, but there is a reason this painting was included in this exhibit. According to The Private Lives of Impressionists, Tissot as Alfred Stevens were the most commercially successful as they moved to England. I just love the palatte, the glow, and how this painting communicates the act of dreaming. This woman sits in a comfortable oversized chair with an huge fluffy pillow. She is sitting next to a lake or pond in the evening and perhaps is gazing into a campfire. Something in the air whether it is music, smells, or the beauty around her transports her into a dreaming state. It is interesting to note that this painting is listed as being painted in 1871, the roughest of years.

Claude Monet's painting, Rue Montorgueil, Paris, Festival of June 30, 1878, is a joyous creation that really captures the emotions of celebration. There is a riot of color, excitement, movement, and the need to celebrate France seven years after the disasterous Franco-Prussian War and the 1871 Commune. There is unity of a people conveyed in this painting. People are in the streets together in a positive way. It is suggestive of better times ahead despite the dark memories. I could actually hear the roar of the crowds and the sounds of the furling flags snapping from the wind. You almost can imagine that the clouds are being pushed across the sky by that same wind.

I purchased this print as a postcard and bought cups of Degas' The Dancing Lesson also at the exhibit. The dancer in the foreground standing by the piano has this red bow in her hair that really pops. I also dug The Floor Scrapers, by Gustave Caillebotte for his wonderful sense of texture with the curls of wood and the contours of the workmen's muscles. I don't recall disliking any of the paintings and I have to say my appreciation of Impressionism deepend and ripened through seeing the paintings in person and reading about the lives of these painters. The exhibit shows you what work the establishment expected: representational work with bibical or mythological subjects. The Impressionists fearlessly broke the rules and were called insane madmen.

The DeYoung will have the second part of their exhibit starting on September 25th called, Van Gogh, Gauguin, Cézanne and Beyond: Post-Impressionist Masterpieces from the Musée d’Orsay. It is certainly on my calendar.

Starting on June 5th, the Legion of Honor will be having an exhibit Impressionist Paris: City of Light, which:

explores various aspects of Parisian society and the French art world from roughly 1850 to the turn of the 20th century. Picturesque views of the narrow streets and stone bridges of old Paris by Charles Marville, Charles Meryon, and Johan Barthold Jongkind give way to colorful images of modern Parisian life, with Edgar Degas, Pierre Bonnard, Edouard Vuillard, and Georges Seurat offering public and private views of the bustling metropolis. Prints and periodicals featuring the work of Honoré Daumier, Edouard Manet, Paul Signac, and James Tissot convey key historical events and underscore the emergent role of illustrated art journalism. A gallery of black-and-white works on paper by Claude Monet, Camille Pissarro, Mary Cassatt, and Paul Gauguin reveal another side of the exhibition. The spectacle of modern life is conveyed through galleries devoted to popular entertainment in late 19th-century Paris, including colorful images of the theater, café-concerts, circus, as well as the Expositions Universelles. The exhibition concludes in a blaze of color with a selection of posters of the turn of the 20th century by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Jules Chéret, Théophile Steinlen, and Alphonse Mucha.

Yet Another Obsession...Artisan Cheeses

2010-05-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

To be frank, I have always enjoyed cheeses. One of my highlights when I was in Europe in 1984 was to visit Edam and try their cheeses. It made the train trip very delightful to have Edam Cheese and Red Wine. Over the years, I have always been open to trying new cheeses. My dear friend Dot has turned me on to Stilton and various other cheeses. She even gave me cheese as a birthday gift. My other dear friend, Alf has cheese themed parties. We were at the opening of our local farmers' market and Alf lamented they had no cheesemonger. Another friend an I had discovered a great cheesemonger at the local Paradise Market and I allowed Alf to kidnap me so I could introduce her to this great cheesemonger. This lead to a cheese party that featured cow cheese, goat cheese, and sheep cheese. We had the herb encrusted Purple Haze from Cypress Grove, Sir Francis Drake from Cowgirl Creamery (Cowgirl's limited edition cheese which was "Da Bomb" or just an amazing cheese), and Spanish sheep cheese Cana De Oveja (which is pungent, ultra smooth, and sticks to the roof your mouth in a good way).

Yesterday, I finally got to visit the new Whole Foods in Novato and they have a decent cheese section and were handing out samples of delicious Gouda. Their cheese guy seems to work in the late afternoon or evening shift, so I will let you know how he compares to our cheesemonger at Paradise Market. I bought a small wedge of Cypress Grove's Truffle Trembler (pictured above from A Gluten Free Guide).

Cypress Grove's Truffle Trembler grabbed my eye because of its looks. There are tiny specs of black truffles. Just look at that picture! Doesn't it beg to be tasted? I open it up and there is this amazing earthy aroma. I happen to love all shrooms for their taste and smell, so if you are not in love with fungii like I am this may not be for you. I don't think I have ever really had black truffles, so this was kind of a nice way to initiate myself. I just spread it on pieces of crusty fresh french baguette and was transported. I had to leave and do an errand and in the car I was smelling the earthy aroma in the car. All afternoon I would catch wafts of the cheese which I can only describe as sexy earthiness that transports you to the French Countryside hunting for truffles with your dog after the rains. The cheese is crumbly, has a complex taste and texture.
It is a cheese that makes me want to hunt down the perfect wine pairing for it and willing to spend over my usual $20 and maybe my cheese pairing limit of $40. This cheese is a keeper.

We have been having unseasonable rain and this cheese was just perfect for a rainy day.

I will be sharing with you my love of cheese and wine on this blog as well as for France, Art, History, and Perfume.

Heaven is a Parisian Apartment

2010-01-17T14:16:00.000-08:00

Some people like to watch naked people doing things to themselves and others. My porn is this photo right here. My porn involves luxury real estate sites especially those located in Paris, France. What turns me on, so to speak, is an apartment with a view like this that has enough bedrooms to have my family and friends visit. Having a study and having a nice dining room to have lovely dinners makes me flush with desire.

This photo is of an apartment in the 16th District on the Right Bank of the Seine. This the view from its rotunda dining room. The living room and entrance faces the Trocadero Gardens.

I would never tire of waking up and taking coffee with a view of Eiffel Tower. Wouldn't this be a way to retire? Wouldn't it be grand if my obituary read how at age 95 I passed away in my Paris apartment?

This apartment is a freestone building that dates from 1929, it is about 2347 sq feet has 4 bedrooms, a study room, 3 bathrooms, kitchen, a cellar, staff bedroom, and parking. It is all mine for anywhere between 2.3 million to 5 million. It is on the Seine River, facing the Eiffel Tower and Trocadero Gardens. Looking at this photo I can teleport myself there sitting there with this window open in the summer and sit there with champagne or wine. I could watch the barges pass by and marvel at the Eiffel tower lit up at night. After dinner we could pull up high backed chairs with cognac and talk all night.

At first I thought the address was 62 Avenue de New York, Paris France. Now I am convinced it is 1 Rue Le Nôtre, Paris, France due to the fact the building entrance faces Trocadero Park. The reason I know the address is because from the above picture I was able to figure its relation to the Eiffel Tower. Then, using satellite view in google maps I was able to see a building that faces both Trocadero Park and Eiffel Tower with a rotunda feature. Then in street view I was able to match the wrought iron design in the balcony. I can also verify what floor it was by the shape of the windows. In a picture below in the study facing the dining room, you see a window shaped like the window up on the floor I marked with a black box. It is an arched window. It is possible it may be on the top floor since I was unable to see the top floor.

It would be sweet to have a mailing address: 1 Rue Le Nôtre, Paris, France. Sitting at my desk, in my study I could pull out stationary embossed with the return address DKC, 1 Rue Le Nôtre, Paris, France. My black pug, Mitsouko, could lounge on the leather sofa in the study as we listen to classical music on Radio Classique. It is now winter and there is a roaring fire in the study fireplace. All the bookcases would be full of books to read. I would have a larger desk and a more brown or tan leather couch. What better place to cozy up to the fire reading a novel? I want to smell the ink from the bronze inkwell and feel the sensation of an ink quill on fine weighted stationary paper.

Being built in 1929 means that it was built in an era that has captured my interest -- the era between world wars. This means this place must have seen the invasion of Paris and survived the war.

One of the bedrooms would be where our flat screen television, couch, washer and dryer, and exercise equipment would be as the living room would not have television, but be reserved to having guests. The other two bedrooms would be for guests to stay and I would have the master bedroom. The main rooms of this place should not have mundane things like televisions, exercise machines, and washing machines. My fantasy places need to be magical.

For the dining rotunda, I would have to have a large round dining table with white linens, and white floral centerpiece with candles. The table would have to have spaces for up to 14 to 16 ppl. Right here is an antique regency revival mahogany table. The chairs would all be wrapped in sumptuous chair covers, of course.

I wish they had pictures of the kitchen and bedrooms. Does it really matter though? They give enough material about this place that I can escape to this happy place. Where I can have my perfumes on a vanity and take walks by the Seine. Wear Chanel. Have a bob of henna'd hair.

Back in 1984, I loved walking in Paris and it would be such a joy to be able to go to museums, cafes, and various gardens again. If I want to go to the Champs-Elysees to Guerlain or Chanel Boutiques, I could walk to the Passy or Trocadero Metro. Basically, it is mind boggling how many places I could get to on the metro. Using street view on Google, I was able to experience walking from this apartment to the Musee de l'Art Moderne de la ville de Paris , then the Chanel boutique, and then the Guerlain Boutique on the Champs-Elysees. Also using street view, I was able to walk to Soleil de Franklin where I can walk to get produce. OMG! Imagining that I could be walking distance to Chanel and Guerlain gets me hot and bothered in the very best way.

Being in Paris would put me in the position to take trains to Istanbul, Venice, Vienna, Dresden, and Bern.

For me heaven is a Parisian apartment.

2010-01-05T19:40:00.000-08:00

Amouage Epic was a sublime accident thinking I ordered Amouage Lyric. The first time I got the vial I put a tiny droplet on the top of my hand, as I had another fragrance on my wrist from earlier. It was impressive that even though I was wearing Coco, I could from this one droplet detect its character. There is this soft sweetness I remember from that quick sniff of Lyric, it is never cloying because it is perfectly balanced with spices. There is pink pepper and tea in there. That droplet had so much going on I knew this would be the perfect scent for the New Year. The scent makes you want to recline and think of being strewn on silken sheets with incense around you in a palace.

I shopped to find the perfect top and jewelry for the perfume and found a ruffled, gauzy shirt with dark red and pinkish rose poppies with green leaves and a black background. I also found gold jewelry that suggested Central Asia.

I waited until I was fully showered, dressed, and made up to put the full application of Epic. Listening to the New York Philharmonic play Gershwin fit this sublime sweetness beginning -- that beautiful peppery rose opening lasts for a couple of hours where we decide where we want to go, drive, walk on street lit up with glorious holiday lights, and wait for a table and our food with a perfect straight up martini. Then at the start of dinner the fragrance just opens up and gives an "epic" performance of roses, spices...everything it got. It shocks and awes in a lovely way. Having pillowy, garlicy naked clams and in the halo of Epic was just perfect. My only sticking point was I picked an Italian white, which didn't quite work. Maybe I should have gone with a Fume Blanc. Oh well.

Then as we started driving home the fragrance danced one last time to the fusion live jazz on the radio and then it adjusts itself again and centers itself into a low flame of incense with a hint of the sweetness that was there all along. When I say "centered" I mean that this incense was the type for meditation - there was nothing distracting -- just this resinous low flame.

Overall, we all ate well and hubby was able to share in the perfume's various stages. The sillage was 6-12 inches according to hubby. The experience was so touching and wonderful, I was eager to recapture it. I went over to share Epic with a perfumista friend. While it was lovely, Epic should never be worn when just watching Bowl games. It just didn't work. My suspicions about this perfume was correct, it needs to be worn for special events where the tempo is slower and everything glows and is romantic or dear. Epic is not a casual perfume. Lesson learned. Yet, one last little spritz today as I relax at home. Then I promise to put it away til some special occasion.

Amouage: Planning My Trek Down the Silk Road

2009-12-30T13:39:00.000-08:00

Image: JHP Design

During my sniffing trip last Summer in San Francisco, we made it into Jacqueline's Perfumery that features rare and vintage perfumes that is located down the street from Neiman Marcus. Even though I wasn't terribly impressed with the customer service I did get a whiff of Lyric by Amouage. It was a fleeting smell that stuck in my head and I kept wishing rather selfishly that she had shelled out the 260 bucks for the bottle.

The hesitation was understandable because we share the preference for pure parfums or extraits over edp or edt. If we are going to invest in perfumes, why not hold out for the best purity. Amouage seems to be an exception though. Often Heather and I would speak of Lyric in day-dreamy, unfinished sentences.

I would see 10 ml vial decants on Ebay for them and was wondering if I should really pay 60 bucks for 10ml. I broke down for Christmas and bought myself a vial only to find I accidentally ordered Epic. How did I do that. It was purely my fault as I saw a fragrance ending in "ic" and pushed the confirm button. This is filed under the heading, "Why Mommy Can't Read?"

When I received the decant I put a tiny, tiny droplet on the top of my hand and was amazed at the strength and longevity - not to mention the breathtaking beauty of Epic. Pepper, tea, spices do this intricate dance amongst the damask rose floral and it really does take you on this intoxicating journey down ancient silk road. It is a grand perfume that I will wear tomorrow night for New Years' Eve. This is not a work or perfume you go about your day with. I am not sure if it is a sexy perfume except in the context you imagine yourself captured as part of a harum on your journey along the silk road. It is more a special occasion scent or a scent to daydream to (or dream to). Epic is a commitment of most of your day. It is a statement perfume saying that you chose this occasion to wear the most precious and exotic ingredients expertly put together.

Since rose perfumes are great companions to culinary garlic in meals, it is a pairing I should try with this.

My memory of Lyric didn't jibe with its origins at a Perfumery stated by the Sultan of Oman using precious materials from the Middle East. Lyric seemed to me to be very French and western more so than Epic.

It's longevity may make the price a bit more tolerable -- a 100ml bottle is $300.00. For $59.00 you can have 10 ml from a seller on Ebay, Mudassir. He also has a direct store which he prefers we use and what a nice selection he has. It looks like I found a great source for fumes with him. He has kindly offered me a sample of Amouage Reflection (which is awesome because it seems it will be a nice addition for the coming spring) with today's order of Amouage Lyric. So I will be adding my reviews of all three Amouage fragrances soon. Now, if only I can manage to try Amouage's Attars...

Chanel: A Redemptive Tale

2009-12-30T11:57:00.000-08:00

My journey through the world of Chanel almost was cut short. One day in the late Spring and Summer when I was beginning my journey to become a perfumista, a co-worker brought a bottle of Chanel Coco Mademoiselle to me. She had the bottle for several years and she never really liked it. Being that I was so eager to collect perfumes, she thought I may like it enough to offer it a new and more appreciative home.

That next morning before work, I dived in and applied it to the wrists, earlobes, inner elbows, and between "the girls" in a daring move to give it an honest try. At first my impression was that it was interesting, but not necessarily in a good way. Was it a nuttiness? It was just this odd scent palate different from the Dior's and Guerlains I had tried.

I was determined to keep on course despite the worry that this could go bad while I had to work. As the day progressed my fears were realized as the fragrance turned on me and I felt progressively confused, angry, and scared that I would be trapped in this long-lasting scent. It was a scrubber which took 4 trips to the bathroom sink to remove the smell that cried out for a tomato juice bath. It took awhile for me to not look at a Chanel label without a mix of revulsion or fear.

A friend lent me EDTs of No. 5 and No. 22, and I found them both to be very pleasant -- especially No. 22. No. 22 was just prettier and more sparkly in a wrist vs. wrist test. Then I bought a small bottle of vintage No. 19 Parfum when I couldn't find No.22 on Ebay. No. 19 is very close to my heart. No. 19 made me pine for other Chanel's with its sophisticated leatherish notes I know that this could be a signature scent if not for the brutal fact that it is discontinued in that form. It is cruel to oneself to decide on a discontinued and rare scent as a personal scent. If you do you make heartbreak certain. No. 19 parfum smells full-bodied and wonderous on me. It meshes with my chemistry.

On a suggestion of posters on Perfume of Life, I have also tried Egoiste Platinum and the Original Egoiste -- both for men. Those vie with Eau Sauvage by Dior that I love wearing.

One night I smelled Coco ( minus the Mademoiselle, of course) on my dear friend and thought it very fetching. This Christmas Santa got me a .25 oz of Coco after showing my mother-in-law around the Neiman Marcus counters. This has the potential of being my signature scent even though folks will claim that the vintage version is superior. At some point, I have to let go the notion of finding the elusive version that I may end up never really finding and just appreciate contemporary and available versions of perfumes. When I wear Coco with its warm, rich spiciness that has a sophisticated reserved nature. Coco makes me think I live in a mansion overlooking an incredible view wearing Chanel clothes with a fabulous haircut. Someone observed that Chanel fragrances are very aspirational. While Caron is said to be for the Countess, and Guerlain for the kept woman -- Chanel is for the independent, modern woman with impeccable taste.

Guerlain has Guerlainaide, Chanel does seem to have a bit of what I call Chanelaide that gives Chanel a feeling of a certain pedigree. Guerlain is a romantic mystery that belongs as a muse for an artist at the turn of the century laying naked on crumpled sheets. Caron is more of a precious, bejeweled and blue-blooded, perfectly lady-like with china doll features. Chanel has a verve, confidence that is charismatically handsome with a bold bob, crisp white shirt, and a pilot's cap. Guerlain has wine that was brought up to warm up a cold, artist's flat. Caron is just a touch of champagne that is worth a weeks work in a bottle on an ornate and formal dining room in an old castle. Chanel is a woman delighting the surrounding men in the room with ribald and intellectual talk over an old scotch in a room reminiscent of a banker's club.

Since sampling Caron fragrances at Jaquelines in San Francisco, I know I could never be a Caron girl. For the longest time I have felt very much like a Guerlain girl and that is where my heart is, but Chanel appeals to my mind as well as my nostrils.

This is only the beginning of a wonderful relationship with Chanel.

Then there is the House of Amouage... oh dear god..that is an entire new post.

San Francisco Sniff-o-polloosa Part I

2009-09-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, September 12, 2009 my friend Heather and I met up with a Perfume of Life Perfumista, Bergamot (Rachel) in San Francisco's Union Square. Our goal was to smell as many perfumes as we can in one afternoon.

We started out and ended at Neiman Marcus where there was a Creed, Tom Ford, and Guerlain. The Creed counter had a list of over a hundred fragrances Creed has which is overwhelming. The two Creed fragrances that stood out on the paper strips was Flourissimo and Fantasia de Fleur. The Flourissimo was the one created for Princess Grace for her wedding and it was a wonderfully pretty white flower scent. It had an old school vibe to it like a Diorissimo but brighter. It was like Diorissimo because it wasn't a sexy scent, but very well behaved -- surprising since it has a naughty tuberose in it. I could wear this in the Spring and times that I would wear Diorissimo. Fantasia de Fleurs by Creed, was by far my favorite Creed. It was created in 1862, so it is an old school fragrance. It was an over-the-top floral with musk but it was really beautiful to me. These fragrances are available online for 65 bucks or so, so I may end up adding them to the collection at some point. There was 2000 Fleurs, but it was merely a "meh" for me, which was wild because I do like over-the-top florals.

Tom Ford has always been interesting to me. Once I smelled his White Pachouli from the bottle and absolutely hated it and then I tested it on my wrist anyway. White Pachouli settled down and I ended up liking it, not liking it enough to buy, but at least I left with a better impression. The Tom Ford counter at Neiman allows you to try their Private Blend EDP fragrances seperately or in combination. Heather tried Champaca Absolute and Velvet Gardenia, and I tried Tuscan Leather. These are intended to be unisex scents and we found that they had a masculine character to them. They stood out to be very high quality scents. That Monday morning at work, I wore Tuscan Leather to work and it was a really nice warm, smoky, sweet leather scent of a worn expensive leather couch. In some reviews they accuse this as being linear, but it does start out sweet then gets into a more smoky leather. One wonders if I pair Tuscan leather with Champaca Absolute or Velvet Gardenia if it would offer more complexity. Online, some say to pair it with Tobacco Vanille to make it more smokey like that boys club with its solid wood paneling, overstuffed leather sofas, a roaring fire from a fireplace out of Citizen Kane's mansion, aged cognac, cigars, amber tiffany bankers lamps, and carpets with deep, rich colors.

For some reason I cannot get it out of my mind. I am going to see if I can try a poor man's version M7 from YSL which is another leather to love. Chanel 19 is suppose to have leather notes, and I never noticed that but if true it would explain how I love it so.

More from my trip in the next post...

Hand-Me-Down Treasures

2009-08-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

A good friend gave me some vintages that she got from her late grandmother that she had no interest in keeping. They are now taking their place of honor on the vanity in a cool dark place.

1. L'Aimant by Coty (1927): According to basenotes.net this was created by Francois Coty and Vincent Roubert. Haven't gotten to this frag, but smelled it out of the bottle and it smells very pretty. Apparently, L'Aimant is still in production, but this one seems to be from the way back machine.

2. Mademoiselle by Louis D'or (1963): According to Cleopatra's Boudoir's ebay guide, Louis D'or created at least 5 perfumes in 1963. Those perfumes were: Amour, Ceil, D'or, Mademoiselle, and Reve. I ran across a Trois Perfume set with three different perfumes: Automne - Hiver - Ete. Then I did a search on Ebay and found Autumn Moon, which says it is Louis D'or - Paris, but also has on the label Northridge, CA. There is another gift set I found on Ebay that has six perfumes: Zorba, I'm Loved, Eternal Love, August Moon, Madam Loubarry, and Golden Louis. This one I have not tried yet. That plastic stopper is not the easiest to get open. Funny that I thought that this was created by Louis Dior, but when I took the photo I was able to magnify the label to find it was Louis D'or. It looks like I will be the first person to review this on the Internet.

3. Mari de Lise by The Louangel Group (1950-1960): According to BabelFish, Mari de Lise means, "Husband of the Dye Stick". In Ifa Divination: Communication between Gods and Men in West Africa, it says, "From that time on, because the dye did no sacrifice, when a cloth has been dyed, someone else wears it, and people say, "Don't you see the work of dye? Dye is the husband of Cloth,"And they take a staff to stir dye and then lean the staff against the Dye's neck." I am not sure what to make of the name.
There is absolutely no information on Mari de Lise on the Internet, so it is either really, really rare or for some reason it never caught on. Mari de Lise is created by The Louangel Group of New York. They made a men's cologne in the 1960s called Aries. According to Perfum Intelligence, this house launched a perfume in 1950. I will let you know what I think. I will try this one over a weekend so I am not caught at work by a fragrance that doesn't work. My guess that this house was one of the many that popped up after the war to take advantage of the new affluence. Looks like I will be first on the Internet to review this one.

4. Miss Dior Eau de Cologne by Christain Dior (1947). Finally a perfume that I am familiar with as I have a mini splash bottle of this. Before I was a Guerlain girl, I thought I would be a Dior Dame. Somewhere I had a classic CD blazer I bought in the 1980s and the fragrances so far suited me. I have only tried Miss Dior once, but I found myself comparing this to the flowery, pretty Diorissimo and J'Adore L'Absolu and sexy, bedroom fresh, Eau Sauvage unfairly. This is a scent that needs to be appreciated for itself and I am not sure I gave it a fair shot, now I have enough to do that.

Coming in the mail is Balmain's Vent Vert, which was also born in 1947 and from what I read of both could be interesting to compare. There are good reviews at Bois de Jasmin, Now Smell This, Perfu me Smelling Things, and Perfume Shrine. You can also check out what folks say about it at basenotes.net.

5. Shalimar Eau de Cologne by Guerlain (1925) (in Pouchet et du Courval round disc shaped 3 oz bottle with cone stopper) I have a mini bottle of Shalimar that was in my set of Seven Guerlain perfumes. There was a hesistation to try it, because it seems that people often speak of Shalimar like more of a cautionary tale than of one of Guerlain's gems. The house of Guerlain always surprises me in the best ways and each time differently, whether it is Mitsouko, L'Heure Bleue, Chamade, and now Shalimar. There is no doubt that when putting on Shalimar that you need a light hand, but this is a beautiful oriental - not vamp oil like you would think by people's attitudes toward it. In another post I will do more of an indepth review, but I loves my Shalimar.
When I told my friends on Facebook I was trying Shalimar on, an older male friend said it brought on memories of his mother. My response was that if you are collecting and use vintage scents there is no avoiding bringing someone's mother or grandmother into it.

6. Emeraude de Coty .40 oz (1921) (in an art deco bottle with a green and gold screw bakelite cap The maker "Coty" is embossed in the glass beneath the bottle.) This is a spicy confection of a perfume that was really well received here by myself and hubby, but I need to wear it again before reviewing, because there may have been remnants of Le Dix I was picking up. Le Dix will be reviewed later as well. I say confection because there was a sweetness to it and hubby thought he sensed the hint of chocolate. One thing I noticed was that there was something in it that reminded me of L'Heure Bleue's medicinal note, but it wasn't medicinal but more like a mint, but not really mint. Was it the aldehyde? That's it! Next time I try this it will be after a shower and I will pick this puppy apart.
One of the things I do is imagine the woman who would wear this in the perfume's heyday. Is Emeraude Betty Boop in a Komono?
Check out fragrantica and basenotes about Emeraude and the consensus is that only the vintage Emeraude is worth trying.
7. White Shoulders cologne 2 fl oz by Evyan (the bottle is like this but with a gold cap) (1935) A boyfriend I had in the 1980s, said he loved White Shoulders, but at the time it seemed too powdery and too old. It just wasn't me at the time and I really wasn't into perfume. This was not the perfume to flip the switch. Tresor, would be the first to capture me in my 20s. This is not the White Shoulders I remember. Apparently, the Elizabeth Arden version is not like the original Evyan. So I will give this one a try and let you know my impressions. Basenotes says that the top Notes are: Neroli, Tuberose, Aldehydes. The middle notes are supposedly: Gardenia, Jasmine, Orris, Lily of the Valley, Rose, Lilac. The base notes are Sandalwood, Amber, Musk, Oakmoss. If these notes are true I am bound to love it as you know I adore Tuberose, Gardenia, Jasmine, and Lily of the Valley. What can go wrong? Check out what the folks at Pink Manhattan had to say about White Shoulders.

8. Oscar de la Renta Parfum (1977) In 1977, I was 11 years old and had no idea of perfume. No one in my family wore it except my dad wore Old Spice. This is a bit green behind the years compared to my parfum loves. An out of the bottle sniff revealed a scent that is pretty nice indeed. This Oscar de la Renta's first fragrance that is eponynous, Oscar. Being a child of Sesame Street, Oscar would not be the name I would name this scent, but I haven't review it yet. Snort.

9. Chanel No. 5 (1921): When borrowing two spray EDT of Chanel No 5 and No. 22, I fell in love with Chanel 22. When I couldn't find an affordable Chanel No. 22, I found No. 19 and we lived happily ever after. This No. 5 I have is an eau de cologne which was supposedly discontinued in the early 90s. This EDC should be similar to the EDT, but people have said that the era No. 5 the cologne comes from is very special and I should be in for a nice surprise on this one. The No. 5 I tried just fell flat in comparison to No. 22 and I still hope someday to get my hands on it. It is so precious I will be able to get to know this classic and over time grow to love it. Maybe some day I will get over this mad crush over No. 22. This is all very remarkable when you think I had such an aversion to Chanel after that unfortunate Chanel Coco Mademoiselle incident.
[Last night again I tried No. 5 after Vent Vert wore down and the No. 5 again fell flat. I may need to get a small bottle of parfum before I pronounce No. 5 a gonner. Also troubling is there seemed to be a tiny bit of what was bothering me in Coco Mademoiselle.]

10. Chanel No. 19 EDT splash (1971): According to basenotes.net and Perfume Smelling Things, Chanel No. 19 was born in 1971 when I entered kindergarten -- Bois de Jasmin has it at 1970. Like I said before, I loved No.22 first, but came to love No. 19. I already own a parfum version of No. 19 and I love it, so getting an EDT version is going to be interesting. A comparison test is needed.
It must be the hyacinth note that gets me as my dear Chamade has hyacinth as well.

This boon has clarified for me that I am destined to wear perfumes from yesteryear. So far scents from before I was born like me and I like them. I have found the most kindred spirit over at The Vintage Perfume Vault. Amelia is a fellow Northern Californian, who writes brilliantly about the lesser known vintage scents and has already given me ideas what to hunt for.
If anyone wants to add their comments and perhaps date this bottles for me, please feel free to have a try. Check in for more reviews as I try them.

My Perfume Shrine

2009-08-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

My vintage scents: House of Balenciaga

2009-08-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

BALENCIAGA
Le Dix (1947)
One day I ran across a really cool parfum bottle that looked like a Roman column on Ebay, so I googled Le Dix to see what it is all about. First of all I go to basenotes.net, and find out that this is a 1947 scent designed by Francis Fabron, who also designed L'Air du Temps (1948) by Nina Ricci, Baghari (1950) by Robert Piguet, L'Interdit (original) (1957) all fragrances that are on my wish list. The photo that basenotes has for Le Dix is closer to what I initially bid on Ebay for, but ultimately lost. Not to be deterred I found a smaller bottle of Le Dix pure parfum for a good price ($10.55 plus 2.50 shipping). When the bottle arrived as seen by this photo, I snuck a whiff of the bottle and found it to be full-bodied fragrance, but wasn't ready to wear it.

Yesterday, I took Le Dix for a run. With new scents that I do not know well, I save them for the weekend so I do not get any nasty surprises at work like I did with Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle. Happily my Le Dix experience was very, very nice. Ozmoz.com via Now Smell This blog, says this is a Floral Chypre.

Perfumeintelligence says,

"Created by Frances Fabron of Roure, a soft rich floral parfum with top notes of bergamot, lemon, peach and coriander; heart notes of rose, jasmine and orris on base notes of vetiver, patchouli, sandalwood, rosewood, musk and civet..."

Ozmoz describes it as,

"Delicately flowery, Le Dix unveils a fresh top note of bergamot and lemon.The heart blooms graciously with an accord of ylang ylang, rose and lily of the valley.This refined bouquet ends in a finale of iris, civet, musk and vanilla. Woody notes of sandalwood and vetiver give the fragrance extra elegance and self-confidence."

Angela on Now Smell This, senses the top notes “aldehydes” and “violets”, notes that are not listed in Ozmoz. Bois de Jasmin, agrees with Angela, saying that Le Dix has been referred to as Chanel No. 5 with violets. Since I just received No. 5 edc, I may see if the comparison is really valid or I may wait and get a parfum version of No. 5 to get an apples to apples comparison.

My vote is with Angela, since I do not really pick up the lemon or bergamot in the opening, but do definately get the violets and the aldehydes somewhat. I do pick up a sweet fruit, so perfumeintelligence's inclusion of the peach makes sense. The sweetness is not cloying to me. I am going to have to try this again to notice the opening more as I put it on when I was in a hurry to get somewhere. When I was at my destination the heart was opening up wonderfully. At first smell, the richness and volumptuous nature with its woods and musks, I thought that this is singularly Fall and Winter scent, but it does have some summery feel as well. It is a different side of Summer, whereas there are more citrusy, beachy, and tropical fragrances to open up and celebrate Summer, Le Dix can be the end of Summer scent that anticipates the harvesting of fruits but not in a gourmand way. It is more like the time in Summer that everything that grew in the Summer is coming to its own as the season takes its last gasp. Then I get surprised with whaffs of leather. It was very warm yesterday going to a playdate for my son, and the fragrance held up. It will be interesting how it reveals itself in the cooler seasons.

The scent lasts a great while. I put it on yesterday morning and it lasted throughout the day and into twilight. I refreshed a bit on my chest and it is still amazing mid-morning. It is turning out to a scent of the weekend.

While Le Dix can be dressed down, it has enough sophistication with its leathers, woods, and florals to be dressed up. This won't be the last we hear of Le Dix. This is merely a first impression.

Cha-Cha-Chamade

2009-07-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

The other day I spent a day with Chamade, a 1969 perfume by one of my favorite perfume houses. On one of the forums Chamade was listed as a perfume that would suit someone who wore Arpege by Lanvin. At first sniff of this tiny little bottle I knew it was love. It was at once rich and bright. According to basenotes.net, the top notes are hyacinth and jasmine. This Ylang-Ylang, Blackcurrent buds, and Galbanum. The basenotes are vanilla, woody notes, and balsamic notes. Fragrantica says it has, "The main notes are Turkish rose, ylang-ylang, jasmine, lilac, blackcurrant buds, lily of the valley, galbanum, sandalwood, vetiver, musk, amber, iris, and Tonka bean." Perfume Shrine confirms the Lily of the Valley (Lily of the Valley which I love in Diorissimo). There is nothing that isn't absolutely lovely about the fragrance and it is true that the real magic happens about an hour in. One feels like wearing jazzy silk in a chaise lounge in a Parisian apartment boudroir with the sun beaming in. It also seemed so right to hum the Greatful Dead -- maybe because it was born at the height of the sixties. It is my happy place scent. At work I brought my tiny little bottle and the bottle fell from the co-worker's hand and it spilt so the entire office area was infused. While reduced what little I had, it was a blessing as the smell just made me feel incredibly lucky. Lucky is being able to share the scent and turn the area I worked into this amazing scent. It was sunshine. It was named after a fast, drum beat. There was a flutter, an undulation to the fragrance that made my heart flutter. It is considered a green floral with a warmth. As it dried down my co-worker thought it was powery in a good way like a newborn smells. To me, Chamade was a journey and a long one because the perfume lasted for almost the entire day. It was a beautiful trip.

Tuberose causes a Fracas

2009-07-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

Last night after work we stopped at Sephora and I rolled on some Fracas on the top of my hand. Fracas doesn't take to everyone's body chemistry, but it took to mine in a amazing way. The rest of the night I would smell the top of my hand and I would not want to take it away. Tipping my head back I would just let my lay on top of my nose and the hand would seem to just melt. Fracas has been described as a buttery tuberose and it seems out of the class of tuberose scents, this fragrance the sexiest. It is not a mere floral.

Diana Rigg, Marilyn Monroe, Marlene Dietrich, Princess Caroline of Monaco, Dita Von Teese, Martha Stewart (?!?), Madonna, and Iman are among the women who have worn the perfume.

I do want to try other tuberose fragrances just for kicks: Carnal Flower, Saks Fifth Avenue for Her, Tubéreuse by Caron, Tuberuse Couture 17 by Parfumerie Generale, Guerlain Bois d’Armenie, Vintage Lanvin Rumeur, Annick Goutal Tubereuse, Balenciaga Quadrille, Serge Lutens Fleurs d'Oranger.

So I have been thinking of turning our guest room into a boudoir/tea room/parlor. Our guest room already has a vintage feel with a vanity with a circular mirror and ancestor photos from as far back as 1870s. I am lobbying hard to get the old television and stereo out and replace it with antique seating we have in storage. Since the room has a window facing east we can put indoor fragrant plants like a fragrant miniature rose, tuberose, and lily of the valley in the room.

Quan Yin

2009-07-05T17:26:00.001-07:00

I adore this marble, jade, and Calcite crystal Kuan Yin statue. Kuan Yin has a special significance for me as she is the goddess of family, fertility, compassion, and mercy. I love what she symbolizes and we do have her in our home already, but you cannot have enough Kuan Yin because she takes away negative energy. She is water, she is life.
Great Compassion Mantra

Instructions on how to practice the Great Compassion Mantra (Da Bei Zhow) of Kwan Yin
By Vajra Regent DongShan Wu-Tsen

1. Light incense and place beside shrine;
2. Prostrate 3 times to Kwan Yin;
3. Offer one (or more) glass (es) of water which Kwan Yin will bless;
4. Invite Kwan Yin to come to you and appear;
5. Bring the palms of your hands together in the prayer-mudra;
6. Invite all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to come and be present.
7. Recite the following chant:
Lu Shian dza zo,
Fa Je Mung Shin,
Dzu Fo Haj Whey Shi Yao Wen,
Swey Tsu Dje Shang Yun,
Tsong Yi Fong Yin,
Dzu Fo Shien Chuan Song.
Na Mo Shian Yun Gai Pu Sa Mo Ko Sa. (3 times)
8. Recite the following lines to purify your speech and apologize for the pronunciation errors made by you during this practice:
An Sho Li Sho Lie, Mo Ho Sho Li, Sho Sho Li, Sa Po Ho (So Ha).
9. Recite the Kwan Yin Great Compassion Mantra 3, 5, 7, 21, 49 or 108 times.
10. Recite the short mantra 10 times:
Na Mo Kwan Yin Boddhisattva.
11. Finally, drink the water blessed by Kwan Yin. This water now has healing powers.
12. Dedicate this practice of the Kwan Yin Great compassion Mantra to the benefit and enlightenment of all beings.

My Favorite Flowers

2009-07-05T07:01:00.000-07:00

If I had to do my wedding all over again, I would have had an evening wedding with all white fragrant flowers: gardenias, tuberoses, moon orchids, lily of the valley, stephanotis, brunfelsias, plumaria, Atractocarpus, Echinopsis, water lily, Magnolias, jasmine, Pacesetter rose, daffodils, hyacinths, white iris, white french lavender, white lotus, hydrangeas.white carnations, swan lake sweetpeas, and Casablanca lilies (!!!). There is something so elegant about white flowers on white tablecloth and place settings. Combine this with lighting from candles, white chinese lanterns, and white mini lights and it would be beautiful. On each table there could be a white quan yin statue to symbolize compassion and family love. It would still be at Stern Grove in San Francisco, because that location was absolutely beautiful. Do not get me wrong, my wedding was beautiful, romantic, and fun. The only regret was the flowers that were predominately pink and not very exceptional. The only flowers that I liked were the potted white roses, but that was my idea -- not the florists. The florist I chose was terrible as my bridal bouquet started falling apart. Later she tried to convince me that a sonya rose she used was peach rather than pink. White on white just avoids these shades of color problems and it is just more adult and classic.
I am also thinking that I could do a fragrant garden of all these flowers above, plus a moondance rose, 'Mme Legras de St Germain' rose, 'Rosa Mulliganii' , Wincester Cathedral rose,
Fair Bianca rose, Madame Hardy rose, White Buddleia "white profusion" or butterfly bush. White sage, white geraniums, white cymbidium orchids.

In our front shaded yard: Aruncus, Chelone, Dicentra, Astilbe, Gallium, Epimedium, Lamium, Tiarella, Lily of the Valley, Primula, columbine, and Viola. Also, laydown sheet and rock moss and various ferns.

It would be cool to have garden that was part moon garden, butterfly and bee garden, part fragrant garden, part fairy garden, part shade garden in mostly white flowers. I could also do my succulent garden and herb garden.

Looking for the Moon

2009-06-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

In my obsession to find a signature scent, I have been lurking, or stalking Ebay for deals on yummy perfumes. I have already scored about 3 small bottles of pure Diorissimo, the siren fragrance that pulled me into this torrid affair. Diorissimo, even in EDT form, is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. It is how perfumes are supposed to smell. Diorissimo is all about the Lily of the Valley, which is associated with the month of my birth and Mother's Day.

Another Dior I am waiting for, but tried a tester for was EAU SAUVAGE Eau De Toilette. This citrus chypre, and has notes of lemon, rosemary, petitgrain, basil, jasmine, rose, iris, oakmoss, vetiver, and musk. It is designed for men, but since its birth on the year of my birth, 1966, women have been wearing it as well. It is very Summery for me and very sexy. It is like borrowing your man's big shirt. Another scent I am waiting for from the house of Dior is a vintage Miss Dior. Yesterday, I received J'Adore L'Absolu a newer scent from Dior. L'Absolu is a more floral version of the popular J'Adore. This scent is very pretty and work appropriate as it is a very gentle floral even in EDP form.

L' Instant from Guerlain got the most immediate response by my hubby for it's vanilla note along with the honey florals. It is a comforting scent and gives me the feeling that Guerlain will be a house I will explore more deeply. I am still awaiting an EDT of Mitsouko that I bid on by mistake and hope that it will be a way into this magnetic fragrance that I despirately want to experience in the EDP pre-formulation state. It still stings losing a bid on a collection of 7 Guerlains to a snipe. Those 7 are on my wishlist: SAMSARA (1989)- spiritual, serene-inspired by a woman whose inner beauty captivated its creator. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain, MITSUOKO (1919)-mysterious, assertive--dedicated to the elusive heroine in "Madame Butterfly". Created by Jacques Guerlain, EAU DE COLOGNE IMPERIALE (1853)-fresh, invigorating--commissioned for Eugenie, wife of Napoleon III. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain, SHALIMAR (1925)--sensuous, seductive--inspired by the love of an Indian Emperor for his cherished wife. Created by Jacques Guerlain, EAU DE GUERLAIN ( 1974 ) -- Vibrant, Inviting. Inspired by the sun - kissed region of Provence, France. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain, Jardins de Bagatelle ( 1983 ) -- Festival of White Flowers. This carefree celebration of sunlight and happiness evokes the joy of a lover's rendezvous in a moonlit garden. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain,
CHAMADE (1969)--feminine, assured--translated as "The wild beating of the heart". Inspired by a womans confident nature. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain.

My way of dealing with the pain was to get a bottle of Chamade by Guerlain.

There is a real anticipation for Arpege from Lanvin. I got a vintage 1.5 oz bottle of this scent that is considered a classic scent in honor of mother and child. Could Arpege be my signature scent? We will see.

Another highly rated fragrance that I ordered is FRACAS by ROBERT PIGUET . Hopefully, it will do well with my body chemistry. A test today on my hand seems promising as I cannot stop sniffing the hand. It is an 1948 fragrance that is an evening scent to be applied judiciously. It's main note is tuberose, a scent that is considered to be narcotic and aphrodisiacal (That's what I'm talking about!). It is indicated for impotency and frigidity and to induce relaxation. Woohoo!

Only one perfume is left in bidding mode: LE NARCISSE NOIR Vintage Mini Perfume Tester CARON. Le Narcisse Noir is another evening scent that was worn by one of my favorite writers, Anais Nin.

"He left me at the gare St. Lazare last night. I began to write in the train to balance the seven-leagued boot jumping out of my life with the ant like activity of the pen. The ant words rushed back and forth carrying crumbs: such heavy crumbs. Bigger than ants.
'Have you enough heliotrope ink.", Henry asked.
I should not be using ink but perfume. I should be writing with Narcisse Noir, with Mitsouko, with jasmine, with honeysuckle. I could write beautiful words that would exhale the potent smell of women's honey and men's white blood." - Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin, vol. 1 1931-1934

Christian Dior, Guerlain, Lanvin, Caron, and Robert Piguet are a good start.

Fragrance Fetish Unleashed!

2009-06-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

In my 20's I discovered Lancome's Tresor (1956) from a friend of mine in college. To me then the pink liquid was bohemian romance in a bottle, but I was not very knowledgeable about scents. In the mid-90s, I picked up another Lancome, Poeme (1995), which seemed more warmer and spicier. It was the end of the 1990s that I picked up Lancome's Oui (1999), which was a more fruitier and fun offering. The 2000s, I held off on fragrances as I went back to school, worked at home, and became a mother. When I look back, I am afraid I may have overused these fragrances and I apologize.

Since I have been back to working outside of the home, I have found myself in a fragrance-friendly workplace. Our employer bought a Sephora fragrance sampler for a co-worker, which brought three of us women to the store to try on scents. It awoke something in me, but I was fully pushed over into obsession when my employer shared a spritz of Diorissimo Parfum. Oh, my. Since you cannot get Diorissimo at Sephora, I tried Dior L'Adore and found it delightful on me as well. There are samples of Vera Wang by Vera Wang (nice), Magical Moon by Hanae Mori (little too strong -- need to try it but pull back on the amount I dab on), Bvlgari by Bvlgari, and somewhere I have Marc Jacobs Daisy.

My nose has put me in a disadvantage as I cannot smell very well unless it is on my skin. The parfum needs to cook on my skin for me to judge if it will work. Since I have only used EDT versions of fragrances, I need to get used to applying sparingly the parfum (not hard when the pocket book only allows small bottles).

The Internet has been a great source for getting up to speed on fragrances. I am on the trail of Mitsouko by Guerlain before it was re-formulated to replace the oak moss. The intense descriptions of this 1919 fragrance intrigues me. Dior's Eau Savage is on my list to get even though it is a men's fragrance. This fragrance would round out my collection with a citrus-green that was born on the same year I was -- 1966 (another source has it 1956). My surname de plume was Savage once and it is a good choice for Summer so it is naturally on the list. In looking around, I found a limited edition version of Dior J'Adore L'Absolu, which is supposed to be an improvement on J'Adore and an alternative to buying an ultra-popular scent.

So on the way is a bottle of Christain Dior J'Adore L'Absolu and a bottle of pure parfum of Diorissimo. On Ebay, I am bidding on a Lot of (5) Guerlain Mini Parfumes. The five are Shalimar, Champs Elysees, Samsara, Mitsouko and Aqua Allegoria Pamplelune. Each bottle is full and holds .17 fl. oz. except for the Aqua Allegoria Pamplelune which holds .25 fl. oz. Another lot is SHALIMAR PARFUM - 0.17 FL OZ 5 ML, SHALIMAR EAU DE TOILETTE NATURAL SPRAY - 0.5 FL OZ 5ML, SAMSARA EAU DE TOILETTE - 0.17 FL OZ 5ML, CHAMPS-ELYSEES EAU DE TOILETTE 0.17 FL OZ 5ML, MITSOUKO EAU DE TOILETTE - 0.17 FL OZ 5ML. I am also bidding on a Mitsouko By Guerlain Women EDT Spray NIB 1.0 oz RARE. Among the 3 bottles of Mitsouko I am hoping to find the holy grail of pre-reformulated bliss everyone is talking about.

[Lost the first group of mini-bottles by 50 cents! doh!

With any luck, I will have three Diors and some Guerlain to add to three Lancomes. Will I be wearing the Lancome fragrances? They are Eau de Toilette, so you get more alcohol than what you would get in a parfum. The Eau Savage is EDT, so I guess I won't be completely abandoning EDT. I guess I will rotate them and see if they stand up to the Diors and hopefully the Guerlain.

My fragrance fetish may not be the most healthy vice, but as I am giving up the last of my vices for a diet -- I need something to replace them. Spare amounts per day shouldn't be a problem and if it is oh heck, it makes me happy and it appeals to my nostalgic nature. It makes me feel more optimistic, feminine, and finished. Parfum is just another layer of clothing. Parfum is like having a piece of finely crafted chocolate, silk stockings and lingerie, and a shot of really good liquor in a vintage apartment in Paris reading Anais Nin's diary.

My current obsession connects me to my great, great grandmother, Salome who would get the latest perfumes and fashions from Paris back in the late 1800s and early 20th century. Her sister, Mary Jane, who was married to the famous photographer, William Rulofson would go to Paris and bring back these fragrances and clothes. Salome was a down-to-earth woman who loved to ride horses, but always smelt wonderful.

Speaking of smelling wonderful, I tried L'INSTANT DE GUERLAIN EAU PARFUM, and it is very dreamy with its honey, magnolias, and amber. Some say it is heavy for Summer, but just smells wonderful on the skin to wait for cooler weather. Dabbing a little from the sampler on my wrists, I walked in the room and my hubby commented how nice it smelled.

So, Guerlain works for my chemistry so I am hoping to get the following in my collection:

SAMSARA (1989)- spiritual, serene-inspired by a woman whose inner beauty captivated its creator. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain
MITSUOKO (1919)-mysterious, assertive--dedicated to the elusive heroine in "Madame Butterfly". Created by Jacques Guerlain
EAU DE COLOGNE IMPERIALE (1853)-fresh, invigorating--commissioned for Eugenie, wife of Napoleon III. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain
SHALIMAR (1925)--sensuous, seductive--inspired by the love of an Indian Emperor for his cherished wife. Created by Jacques Guerlain
EAU DE GUERLAIN ( 1974 ) -- Vibrant, Inviting. Inspired by the sun - kissed region of Provence, France. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain
Jardins de Bagatelle ( 1983 ) -- Festival of White Flowers. This carefree celebration of sunlight and happiness evokes the joy of a lover's rendezvous in a moonlit garden. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain
CHAMADE (1969)--feminine, assured--translated as "The wild beating of the heart". Inspired by a womans confident nature. Created by Jean - Paul Guerlain.

"Pro-life" Terrorism

2009-05-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

Dr. George Tiller was assassinated today because he provided couples a safe way to end a disastrous pregnancy that they most likely wanted. Couples who face such procedures in late term do it with such unbelievable grief and suffering, and nobody has the right to judge that. Carrying such pregnancies to term is psychologically awful and puts the woman in danger. Pro-lifers rarely care about the woman, as they favor laws that place the life of the fetus higher than a woman's life.

Someone who claimed to value human life, ended it today fueled by the rhetoric on the right.

While you hear statements from the more mainstream pro-life groups that they do not condone such violence, their rhetoric over the years makes this violent act inevitable. If you go to the websites like "Army of God" they say things like, "A great day for the unborn children scheduled to be murdered by Babykilling Abortionist George Tiller. George Tiller reaped what he sowed and now has been cast alive into everlasting torment and fire for the innocent blood he has shed.
Psalm 55:15 Let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell: for wickedness is in their dwellings, and among them."

From a discussion board on Les Femmes, "The loss of Tiller himself is as great a loss to women as the death of Hitler was a loss to Jews."
From Chicago Ray, "And as sad a it is to say, his murder will save the lives of thousands and thousands of innocent babies in which he remained ONE OF THE VERY LAST DOCTORS still performing brutal late term murders of fetus's."
tankertodd a poster on Redstate.com, "I can’t escape the conclusion that killing Tiller was the right thing to do. I am uncomfortable with this conclusion because it’s dangerous. But nevertheless, it was the ethical thing to do."

Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue states, "George Tiller was a mass-murderer. We grieve for him that he did not have time to properly prepare his soul to face God. I am more concerned that the Obama Administration will use Tiller's killing to intimidate pro-lifers into surrendering our most effective rhetoric and actions."

When you judge doctors as murderers, you open the door to people saying that they are saving babies by taking doctors out. When you continue the rhetoric after many doctors and clinic workers have been killed, maimed, and threatened you have no respect for human life. On the other hand, no pro-life person has ever been harmed. In fact, as a clinic defender I have stopped angry people from attacking clinic visitors by calling them murderers in front of their children.

They are some who are calling today assassination of this Doctor as talibanistic, domestic terrorism fueled by Christian belief system, and I do not disagree. This is one of the many reasons that I was driven away from the Christian faith. Modern Christianity is not about Christ anymore and is more about hatred and gaining worldly power, than working for the poor and working against greed.

There are progressive and moderate Christians but they have no power and enable the extremists. With their countless jihads against LGBT, Science education, Sex education, birth control, I am having trouble finding positive contributions by the Christian. The bible should never be more important than treating your fellow human being with respect and equanimity. These people just need to stop, stop hurting our country.

If you oppose abortion, do not have one and work to make birth control freely available. If you oppose birth control, then do not use it, but make sure others who do not share your views have access. Unfortunately, most pro-lifers think birth control is abortion too.

If you oppose abortion, then support single mothers who have children out of wedlock.

Don't believe the Pro-lifers who are trying to distance themselves. There is this vast network on the right that whip themselves up with plastic fetuses, photos, and fetus fetishism. There is no difference between the pro-life movement and the KKK who whip up sentiment against blacks and jews via Hitler-fetishism and then people are motivated to act on the hatred.

Exploiting Children to "Save" Marriage

2009-05-21T06:46:00.000-07:00

Why must folks who claim to be for family values exploit children to protect their narrow and religious vision of marriage? Why do their appeals to fear always feature children? Do they have no shame?

A new way of thinking? Goodness, who thought new ways of thinking was so dangerous? If "new thinking" is that families come in many sizes and types, what is the danger in that? If "new thinking" is to celebrate differences, what is the harm in that? Promoting love and commitment between any two people is a good thing.

The only confusion is created by people who refuse mind their own business and let gay and lesbians enjoy the same rights as they freely exercise. Confusion is caused when parents think that the worst thing that could happen to a child is to either have no opinion about homosexuality, are okay with homosexuality, or becomes homosexual. They are so afraid that acceptance would turn their little darlings gay, when most gays I have known came from strict, conservative christian families.

There is no confusion when you say that many men and women meet and fall in love with each other. Some men fall in love with men. Some women fall in love with women. There is no confusion when you teach your children that there are all kinds of families. Confusion happens when a narrow view is taught to them, and it conflicts with reality. Most families are not typical, traditional nuclear families.

It is far better for our kids to be brought up respecting all parents regardless if they are gay or straight. Our kids classmates will have same sex parents, single parents, mixed race parents, foster parents, and divorced parents. All of those families have equal value, and that is the lesson kids need to pick up.

I think it is terrible to implant in a child's mind that "new thinking" or acceptance of the reality is somehow dangerous. I hope my son entertains a lot of new thoughts and challenges traditional assumptions. I hope he has better things to do than work to deny a group of citizens their rights, and will work to protect the rights of others.

One of my measurements of being a good mom is to raise my son being comfortable enough with himself to be able to make others feel good being themselves. He will know his mother supports gay and lesbian rights (as I support rights of workers, women, immigrants, children, and those of color) even though she is a straight, married mother because fighting for equal rights for all citizens is the right thing to do.

Reality-based thinking hold that gays and lesbians being able to marry will have zero effect on heterosexual marriages or the institution of marriage. The result will be more couples will choose committed relationships and that is a good family value.

San Francisco Film Festival: Nomad's Land

2009-05-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

By Denise K. Castellucci
Going through the San Francisco International Film Festival catalog is a daunting task when you have to choose only two films. Nomad's Land or Sur les Trace de Nicolas Bouvier (In the Footsteps of Nicolas Bouvier) stood out as one of the films that stood out to me with its evocative quote from author Nicolas Bouvier, "One thinks that one is going to make a journey, yet soon it is the journey that makes or unmakes you."

This beautiful documentary is in first person as Swiss filmmaker Gaël Métroz goes alone without a camera crew to capture the danger and beauty of landscapes and people on his journey. His goal is to trace the footsteps of the author of "The Way of the World" by Nicolas Bouvier. Bouvier was another Swiss man who traveled in a Fiat Topolino from Geneva, Yugoslavia, Turkey, Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, India, Sri Lanka, and over to Japan in the Fifties.

As Métroz traces Bouvier's trip to Iranian and Pakistan cities it is clear that much of the charm and romance recounted in Bovier's book have morphed into a violent locales unwelcoming to Métroz. Behind a gauzy curtain up in his hotel room Gaël hears endless gunshots and waits for the next jeep out.

By taking the opportunity to follow the Nomads out, Métroz veers off the path of Bouvier letting the trip take him rather than taking a trip. He takes many leaps of faith in the generosity and hospitality of the regions many tribes of nomads.

The first person point of view is extremely powerful and has the effect of immersing you in the highs and lows of his journey. You feel the exhaustion, elation, sense of awe of the enormous landscapes, and the heart-stopping remoteness.

I felt sadness at times when he would capture places like an Iranian marketplace that retains the exotic beauty, but where women are conspicuously absent. A young European treads lightly through these cities, how could I, an American Woman, ever hope to follow his footsteps? So, I am grateful that he makes this trip and captures the beauty as well as the precarious nature of the modern Middle East, butdespair that much of the planet's exquisiteness remain elusive to me because I am a woman. As a mother of a son, I hope that my son has the opportunity when he is older to embark on such a journey even though worry would be my companion.

This film works on so many levels. Technically the photography captured the colors and the features of the locals and its people with incredible sharpness and intimacy. It is possible to see and hear, but you almost could feel, taste, and smell through his lens. Competing with the incredible visuals was the poetry of Métroz's narration and Bouvier's words. I wished that I could understand French, so my eyes would not have to choose whether to watch the action on screen or read the subtitles.

Nomad's Land is also a meditation on the nature and philosophy of travel. It retains the nostalgic notion of travel where the journey tells you when it will end, instead of having an itinerary of what you will see determined by what little time we get off from work. Instead of rushing through a destination so one can say they climbed the Eiffel Tower or walked the Great Wall of China, travel can be a slow, patient surrender to the part of the world unfamiliar to you. In a time where we have Google Earth and can see almost every inch of the planet, there are opportunities to be kindred to explorers from the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but without the Western ethnocentric point of view of the quaintness of natives. One can explore untouched areas of the world and view its inhabitants as wise teachers, protectors, and spirit guides on your journey. It is a journey that respects the rhythms and traditions of others who follow the rhythms of the earth.

Métroz embraced and was embraced back by a part of the world where they are supposed to hate freedom. What you learn from Métroz's lens is that these people are happiest when they are free to roam away from the cities and into open landscapes and crevices of hills. The urbanized and modern parts of that world drive some to smoke hash, and feel the great anxieties in cities that imprison. It is violent and breeds extremism. It is when you are with the nomads and visit the tribes that the extremism softens, the people blossom into generous people at peace enough not only allow a westerner in their midst, but a westerner with a camera.

Métroz says, "These temptations not to return too often plagued me, convincing me to make a film which, as the writings of Nicolas Bouvier, especially recalls that "travel is not an innocent activity… it is an experience of which one never heals." When one comes back, one is never the same."

As Métroz allowed his journey to change him, the film has the ability to change you. According to this film's website, this film will be pressed to DVD. I am hoping to add it to our collection of films and recommend that you do too. The film is also a great inspiration to read "The Way of the World" by Nicolas Bouvier.

All Hail the Harlequin Frog

2009-04-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce you to the South American Carrikeri harlequin frog. This fiery skinned frog was rediscovered after laying low for 14 years. It lives in the mountain forests of Columbia. The bad news is that the same researchers who found this Carrikeri harlequin, had trouble finding other harlequin frogs in the region.

ASUS 1000HE Netbook as Kindle Clone

2009-04-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Paul Biba at Tele-read for the tip that you can press ctrl-alt-arrow to rotate the screen on a 1000he and use the netbook as a Kindle-like device. The navigation is hitting the pagedown and pageup buttons. Here I am checking out Susan Jacoby's new book, The Age of American Unreason over at Google Books. Google Books is great, but you don't get all the pages. E-books have this book for 15.95. My friend, Michael Twittered to me that there is always Project Gutenberg, but that is great if you want to read an old classic like The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Clearly, if I want to read something a bit more recent it is cheaper to just buy a used book over at Thrift Books, Biblio, or Amazon and pay $4-$5 bucks.

Don't get me wrong. My preference for books are used paperbooks. Recently, I bought used paperbooks and there is nothing more nostalgic for me. One of my fondest memories when I moved to Menlo Park back in the late 1970s is finding this great used book store that would by back your books and gave you store credit to get more. Nothing motivates a young person to read more than being able to pay for books with one's meager allowance and be able to earn more books by bring fully read books back. Of course, they went out of business.

There is something tactile and social about physical books. You can feel and smell the pages and underline passages and make notes. You can share your book with friends and they make great gifts. If somehow an electronic pulse knocks out all of electronica in the world ala Dark Angel, you still have physical books to keep you company and entertained.

That being said, I think it is cool that my netbook can be repurposed to become an ebook reader. The awesome thing about ebooks is that like used books, you are not killing new trees for entertainment. Making paper and inks does have an effect on the environment. One issue is storage of books. Books take up a lot of room and ebooks could help unclutter our homes.

A Daybreak Stroll in Dithyrambia

2009-03-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

From time to time I will search the webs for anything dithyrambunctious or more properly dithyrambic in style or spirit. One item of dithyrambic curiosity is a screen print of mixed media called, Dithyrambic Aspirations by Bret Pfeifer. This work is housed on the Office of Urban Air conditioning. There are on-going essays by Aaron Jones about what defines success, terra impenetrabilis or surfaces of our paved planet, our relationship with fossils and their fuels, urbanity's siren sell to affluent suburbanites, and predatory neglect in the inner city. His art echoes the themes of his essays although my favorite of his work is "Berber Woman." Speaking of Berber... I just bought a used copy of The Seven Addictions and Five Professions of Anita Berber: Weimar Berlin's Priestess of Depravity (Paperback).

My first question to Bret Pfeifer was about his use of Dithyrambic for the title, and how he defines dithyrambic.

The title 'Dithyrambic Aspirations' comes directly from my own creative process. I seem to have a never ending flow of creative aspirations that remain stagnant due to new more exciting thoughts, ideas, projects. It is as if the creativity feeds on itself in a cyclical process never producing any real product. Once I understood this I began to revel in the process of creativity rather than the final product.

Life is dithyrambic, it is a continuos flow of the unexpected, never ceasing. In this case creativity is dithyrambic, flowing without regard for anything else but the creative process.

When my eyes sank into the piece, Dithyrambic Aspirations, my first impressions that it works visually and feels like a comment about business or urbanity with what looks like high-rises, date stamps of 2008, and what could chemical reactions. I wondered what Bret was trying to accomplish with this piece.

"I am an architect by trade so the building-like forms refer to my 'creative profession'. Architecture is seemingly very creative....but to me, it is one of the creative endeavors that holds back the development of one of my ideas, thoughts or projects. Architecture is one of the only creative processes in which a real tangible product is delivered, although, throughout the 'process' of architecture the original idea is so tainted by the real-world constraints that the creative process removed.

The date stamp refers to the idea actually setting a date and developing one of these ideas into its mature potential. This of course diminishes the importance of the 'process' and places that importance on the product, which kills the creativity.

This piece is partly me as an artist making piece with the fact that creativity and commerce are directly in conflict, to pursue one depreciates the other. I would much rather retain the creative process.

I would like to thank Bret for graciously answering my questions. We will be sure to let you know when his website goes up. I wish him well.

My Lunch in Dresden

2009-03-27T05:15:00.000-07:00

In the Summer of 1984, one of the places I stopped was Dresden, Germany for lunch after a tour of the city. The tour was punctuated with the tour guides judgmental snarl, "This was BOMBED by the AMERICANS!" We were a bus of 60 American kids that were in the late teens, born in the mid or late 1960s. It was a real temptation to take it personally, but excuse me for saying at the time, "We were not even born yet, give us a friggin break!" We would get similar sentiments from another East German tour guide on our tour of East Berlin. She would claim that they left the ruined buildings up as a monument to the Allied bombings. Right.

What I remember of lunch was that they had this liqueur, digestif of sorts that smelled like it could run a car. Don't get me wrong, I love liqueur, especially lithuanian honey liqueur, or rasberry liqueur. A tiny sip confirmed that I had no business with the stuff and I handed it over to one of the guys on the tour that seemed less discriminating. Passing on the digestif would happen in Prague. It just seemed to be the right thing to do.

The East German guides did have a point. Our country did firebomb the hell out of Dresden. In fact I was reading Vonnegut on the trip and he actually spent time in a bunker while it happened. It was horrific. In 1984, we had Reagan as President who was certainly hawkish and calling the Soviet Union the Evil Empire. The thing is, despite the verbal digs, they needed our cash and so they let us in.

My story of my short time in Dresden came up when I thought of artist Otto Dix, an expressionist from Dresden. I bring up Otto Dix, because he is a great example of how art was affected by World War I. Dix was also a part of was called by the facists as degenerate art, which I prefer. Otto Dix comes up because there is a show I want to go to, but can't, at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art called, Shell Shocked: Expressionism After the Great War, Today.

Extraordinarily resilient, German Expressionism was profoundly changed by World War I (1914-1918), which first enthralled and then devastated the “generation of 1914” throughout Europe. The young German artists initially welcomed the “Great War” as a grand adventure. But this euphoria soon yielded to pacifism and outright political protest in opposition to a war that was taking a heavy toll in such unprecedented battles of attrition as the Somme and Verdun. Departing from the arcadian landscapes and anguished probing of the individual psyche of early Expressionism, artists now conveyed political protest and communal utopia visions of a new humanity.

These artists lived through WWI and were surrounded by maimed vets, war widows, economic decline, and the whole world punishing them for the war itself. Dismemberment, distortion, death, and destruction were familiar to these artists and they faced it head on in their work. The work is often described as grotesque, but it is really is a time where all you had left was to portray the world how it felt to many. There is a German proverb, "“A great war leaves the country with three armies - an army of cripples, an army of mourners, and an army of thieves”

Unlocking The Heart of Adoption

2009-03-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

It has been a wonderful experience being friends with Sheila Ganz, who is a birth mother and filmmaker extraordinaire. I had the pleasure of working on the website of her first film, Unlocking the Heart of Adoption, for about 7-8 years. Unlocking the Heart of Adoption is essential viewing for anyone who is adopted, adopting, planning to adopt, or has relinquished or plans to relinquish a child to adoption. This film unflinchingly deals with experiences in adoption that do exist, but are not found in most adoption films.

You must go to her website and for as little as $39.95 buy the DVD for yourself or for friends you know that are touched or want to be touched by adoption.

The Bastard Fairies: We Are All Going to Hell

2009-03-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

Warning this song does contain profanity. Pause if this offends you. These folk are called Bastard Fairies, an indy band. I am liking their version of "Brand New Key" with the ukelele band.

Don't Trust Anyone Making $250,000 or more...

2009-03-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

Think Progress found this little gem on CNBC. It seems to this particular anchor that this AIG problem cannot be solved by those making less than $250,000. I know a lot of smart, experienced people who have been laid off who would love to be making $100-150k a year right now. Many are settling for jobs that make 12 bucks an hour, so I am sure AIG and these ruined companies can get help. It seems to me and a lot of folks that it was people making more than $250,000 that got us into this mess in the first place. It is clear from the past year, we cannot trust these people who make more than $250,000 with our public dollars. They have to earn back our trust.

We, taxpayers, sacrificed and gave them bailout money to fix the problem they created and they turned around and gave 218 Million dollars in bonuses (and gave Paulson's ex-employer Goldman Sachs $12.6 billion). The money can go to salaries for people to work through the problem, but times of high salaries and bonuses are over. The time for slipping billions to your friends are over. When the government owns 80% of you, it is time to get paid like a government worker. To say no one would take these jobs is false.

It is time to make an ultimatum to those who still work at these corporate welfare queens that they work for the taxpayer now. If they do not want their jobs, then there are plenty of people who will take their places. We can hire a lot of smart people for the price of one, overpriced and over hyped executive with entitlement issues. Maybe it is time for them to stand in the unemployment line and feel the pain that their choices inflicted upon the world, and let the rest of us take their places.

People have been accusing Obama as wanting to redistribute wealth while we have been witnessing the greatest redistribution of wealth to financial, energy, and military contractors in the past 8 years. It is time to redistribute it the other way for the best interest of our country.

Dithyrambicology: Historical Dithyrambic

2009-03-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

"In Paris appeared The Black Book, a novel by Lawrence Durrell, who gave promise of outdoing Henry Miller in the form that admirers call the dithyrambic novel and that others call plain old-fashioned pornography." - Time Magazine, Dithyrambic Sex, Monday, Nov. 21, 1938

Quote of the Day

2009-03-19T07:19:00.001-07:00

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Ambrose Bierce

Aristophanes, The Frogs

2009-03-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax,
Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax!
We children of the fountain and the lake
Let us wake
Our full choir-shout, as the flutes are ringing out,
Our symphony of clear-voiced song.
The song we used to love in the Marshland up above,
In praise of Dionysus to produce,
Of Nysaean Dionysus, son of Zeus,
When the revel-tipsy throng, all crapulous and gay,
To our precinct reeled along on the holy Pitcher day,
Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax.
That is right, Mr. Busybody, right!
For the Muses of the lyre love us well;
And hornfoot Pan who plays
on the pipe his jocund lays;
And Apollo, Harper bright,
in our Chorus takes delight;
For the strong reed's sake
which I grow within my lake
To be girdled in his lyre's deep shell.
Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax.
Ah, no! ah, no!
Loud and louder our chant must flow.
Sing if ever ye sang of yore,
When in sunny and glorious days
Through the rushes and marsh-flags springing
On we swept, in the joy of singing
Myriad-diving roundelays.
Or when fleeing the storm, we went
Down to the depths, and our choral song
Wildly raised to a loud and long
Bubble-bursting accompaniment.
All the same we'll shout and cry,
Stretching all our throats with song,
Shouting, crying, all day long,

Discuss.

It's All About the Frogs

2009-03-19T06:59:00.000-07:00

A tesla coil can make a frog levitate. It is probably not as fun as it looks.

Conventional Wisdom hath said "a frog can be boiled alive if the water is heated slowly enough—it is said that if a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out, but if it is placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will never jump out." Not true. Frogs are smarter than that and will jump out. This untruth has been used to describe us humans who will slowly poison our earth, and only react when disaster happens. Could frogs be smarter than humans?

Apparently George W. Bush had a taste for torture that predates his presidency -- frog torture, and crows are no better.

How to make Origami Frogs and a japanese frog shop.

Bored? Frogcam.

Peace Frogs has a pretty cool franchise idea, for 30k they can set you up with a vw van that is painted groovy and is a retail store. Cool way to live if you didn't have froglets.

The Frog Store is around just in time for my birthday! Your garden needs Garden Frogs! Wear Frog T-shirts! Human-sized copper frogs.Enter Frog Nirvana.

Frogs

Buddhadeva Bose

The rains have come, and the frogs are full of glee.
They sing in chorus, with voices loud and lusty,
They sing in primeval joy:
There is nothing but fear today, neither hinger nor death.
Nor the wanton stones of fate.

Cloud-like the grasses thicken,
And in the fields the clear eaters stand,
And the care-free hours of the day
Are passed in insolent singing.

In the sensual rain there is ecstasy of touch.
How luscious is the mud, how young, how soft!

They are neckless, though their throats are swollen;
They are embodiment of the song's seventh pitch.

O what sleek bodies-cloud like yellow and green!
Eyes staring upwards in glassy transparence,
Like the sombre stare of a mystic
Seeking God, in deep meditation.

The rain is ceased, the shadows aslant.
Hymn-like rises their singing, solemn in silent skies.

As the day pants and dies, the loud shrillness faints,
And the darkness is pierced with a sleep-begetting monophonic
screech.

It is midnight. We have closed our doors and are comfortably in bed.
And the stillness is broken by a single tireless voice.
It is the final sloka of the mystic chanting.
The croak, croak croak of the last lonely frog.

If you "Go Galt", I'll "Go Marx"

2009-03-19T05:28:00.000-07:00

Just so you know I am not in the habit of criticizing books I haven't read. I do make an exception for Ayn Rand's books. Throughout my life I have run into fans of "Fountain Head" and "Atlas Shrugged" who breathlessly tell me about how they love the books and how Ayn Rand blew their mind and inspired them to be objectivist libertarians. For awhile there, my hubby and I belonged to a political discussion group with some of these rabid fans. From what we were able to gather, Ayn has constructed fiction that rationalizes greed and social Darwinism. If you are unable to make economically optimum choices for yourself, or accumulate wealth at others expense, then you deserve to be poor and become a leech on society. In this fantasy world, there is a class of highly productive, creative wealthy people who are victims of those who are not. These people decide to go into hiding to avoid an oppressive government. Taxation to the Galtists is slavery.

Taxation to me means I am making money. Good thing. I am glad to make money so I can hopefully help pay to keep our government going.

When you talk to these people they completely ignore that they thoughtlessly take advantage of government they despise so much. Individuals and commerce depend on safe roads, public safety, drug and food safety, our military, our educational system, and our infrastructure. This all costs money. They some how think that individuals or the private sector will take care of all of these things. You can fill volumes about the failures of individuals or the private sector to do the right thing and take care of the needs of our country. The market has failed this country over and over because they are concerned more about profit than the best interests of their fellow citizens or our country. Individual consumers are powerless to change private markets, but citizens can press their governments to regulate markets in their favor. This is why we need to regulate markets and tax citizens to pay people to enforce regulations.

Now that Obama is president, there is a movement of "Going Galt" because they see that Obama is taking away money from the talented and giving it to the unsuccessful. They claim that the bailout is what gets them angry and I am angry about that too. I am angry we have to bailout a greed-motivated system of booms and busts run by people who are culture says are the creative job making elite who deserve tax breaks.

Where we disagree is the Galtists do not want government to invest in our infrastructure, our people, and our future. They rely on this fantasy that private markets are the answer to everything, even if it was private markets who caused this disaster. If government did anything wrong is that they listened to the Galtists in holding back needed regulation to keep private markets from self-imploading.

I believe objectivism based on the old Calvinist and Social Darwinist individualism hurts our country, because it is based on fantasy. It institutionalizes greed over the common good creating a nation of winners and losers that has little to do with merit.

None of us pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. We all get where we are with the help of others. We deliver our goods on roads and bandwidth paid for by our tax dollars. We stay healthy by paying people to check the safety of our drugs and food. We get whatever skills from our teachers, and are protected by our police officers and fire fighters. What we decide to pool our money for tells the world and history what kind of people we are. Government is us, it doesn't seem like it is because citizens are not doing their jobs keeping our government in check.

Rich people are no better than poor people. In fact, people who are not rich often are far more productive, creative, and resourceful than rich people. Without workers, rich people would have no means in delivering the products that make them rich. Without workers, rich people would have bad lawns, dirty houses, and would have to parent their own children.

We are all human beings who should be able to have the dignity of shelter, health care, food, education, and if they can - work. Our country is healthy when more people get a part of the economic pie instead of the wealth being hoarded by the top 1%. We need more socialism that works for all the people. If we go on strike, we need to strike for worker's rights and fight for our tax dollars to be spent investing in the American people. We need to spend our taxes on education, health care, infrastructure, renewable energy, science, and art.

What we spend on is who we are.

One of My Favorite Local Bands: Broun Fellinis

2009-03-19T05:14:00.000-07:00

The coolest, grooviest, most chocolate-fabulous jazz trio on this planet is the Broun Fellinis. I have seen this group in concert a couple of times and have been blown away each time. I own albums and try to expose the spawn to it whenever I can. They play locally in San Francisco and the East Bay occasionally and we recently missed a gig at the Cafe Du Nord in San Francisco. We hope to catch them in live when we can get someone to watch the spawn.

So buy their albums! See their shows! Just hang out and let their myspace site play in the background while you blog and sip Cellar No.8 Cabernet with notes of chocolate, tobacco, and leather.

What They Deserve

2009-03-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

The Hill article, "AIG staff: We deserve this money," quoted a source saying,
"“Quants,” the people who put together the computer-programmed algorithms behind the complicated hedges and trades that brought down the company, pushed back hard against any notion they should sacrifice their bonuses"

These people who have made enough money never to work again, do not deserve anything. They may want those bonuses, but they surely do not deserve them and certainly did not earn them. The whole notion of being deserving or feeling entitled has gotten us in this mess in the first place. Feeling entitled or deserving leads to a dangerous hubris that gives us permission to make bad deals, loans, trades that put our economy in peril. They had emerged from biz school believing the hype about themselves as golden children who were the brains behind wealth generation, when it is really the fact that it was the everyday worker who creates and buys real products and services that run an economy.

These Quants and their ilk kill jobs, wreck local economies, drain public coffers, and then try to tell us how indespensible they are in fixing the mess so we should pay them millions to stay on.

The MBAs who only bring companies their complex schemes to skim wealth via bonuses for the short term leaving the company weak or non-existent in the long term have nothing to offer our economy but ruin. They are the ones who layoff workers, lose money for shareholders, and basically mismanage the company without a notion of consequences because they know that they will always get a golden parachute. Bonuses used to be used to reward behavior that made the company stronger. Bonuses were for when a company was doing well and was a gesture to recognize the employee's contribution toward that end.

All the economic failures that have come to pass were very, very predictable and was predicted long before it happened but was drowned out by the mainstream media, Wall Street, and all the "experts" in bed with this broken system. If they had any sense at all everyone who brought this about knew very well this economic collapse would happen, but didn't care because they knew they would emerge from the dust wealthy. They do not care about our country nor do they understand our sacrifice as tax payers in bailing them out.

I want names released of these people who feel that in the face of their overwhelming failure that they deserve anything. What they do deserve and completely earn is a public shaming as crooked failures. They failed and continue to fail our country. They are not golden children who create wealth but drain it. The Quants and those like them need to be publically paraded in dunce caps and sandwich signs with their economic sins scrawled on them and which they would have to recite before angry crowds. They deserve to be poster children for the failure of all the crap that has been taught in business schools the past twenty years or so.

Our culture needs to stop worshipping unrestrained capitalists who transfer wealth upwards, leaving the rest of us to pick up the tab for their adventures.

As 80% owner of AIG I believe that these people owe AIG all of their bonuses, and if they are allowed to work to fix the problem they do so working off all the ill-got funds they recieved. If not, there are plenty of intelligent and hardworking people who have lost their jobs because of these people who can step in and fix it.

Mother Maven Haven is Now Life Dithyrambic

2009-03-08T12:10:00.000-07:00

For the longest time, have been wearing the title Mother Maven, but did not really fit me and not so much the blog. This blog about religion, politics, global warming, eco-friendly stuff, natural beauty, culture, art, the religious right, creationism, evolution, birth control, motherhood, neo-puritanical ethos, feminism, pop culture, and wine deserved a more descriptive and evocative name.

So I became inspired by my Myspace persona Baccus Croakus, and the title of Life Dithyrambic. I am not sure what it says about me when I hide behind a persona of a 102 year old male frog who likes wine.

I was inspired by Aristophanes, The Frogs, my fascination with Dionysus (my name Denise is a variant of Dionysus and means "wine-goddess"), my interest in Ancient Greece, and my appreciation of frogs as symbolism. Dithyramb is an ancient Greek hymn to Dionysus, but it is also defined as, "wildly enthusiastic speech or piece of writing."

Dionysus is a curious Greco-Roman diety not only that he is a god of wine, fertility, frenzy, and theater but his birth story of being "twice born." Being adopted I can relate to the whole idea of being twice born.

If I have a spirit animal it would be a Frog. Frogs as totem spirits recognize the purifying effect of rain, water, and tears. I love rain, fog, and misty days and how the moisture turn things green and mossy.

Frog spirits are all about empathy as frogs are known easily take in things from their thin skins. Ever since I was a little girl I could imagine and feel the pain of others. My days doing theater called on those skills. One reason I left the 8 year gig at Voices of Adoption was that I was internalizing all the poingnant stories I dealt with over the years. Imagining lives of others and having such empathy makes me a flaming liberal.

Frogs live double lives in water and on land. I have always needed to live by water on coasts, and as an adopted person I am influenced by dual heritages -- living a double life in limbo. Frogs are all about thier fertility and creativity. Frog people are often artists.

Frogs are also about transformation or metamorphasis. I have always been open to change and reinvention.Frogs see many directions at once. Being open to change and being able to take in information from a wide spectrum of places is very frog-like.

Frogs are associated with the color green. My favorite color is green-- all shades of green. My house is green and our rooms are painted either green or blue.

The Chinese see the frog as symbolizing the Moon, good luck and healing - a lunar yin. The Early Christians saw Frogs as symbols of the Holy Trinity (due to their three stages of life) and that they symbolize ressurrection as it does each Spring. Frog totems are known to bring protection to children and bring pleasant dreams.

Welcome to this pond teaming with dynamic and delicious dithyrambic dharma talks and dionysian musings. Grab a lilly and stay awhile.

While We Are Waiting for the Sexy ASUS 1000e...

2009-02-18T20:47:00.000-08:00

So I am still waiting for my Blue Object of Desire. The swirl of rumors just drove me crazy, so I took matters into my own hands and contacted representatives directly. Due to a shortage of chips, the 1000he will be relatively scarce and those of us who pre-ordered are left wondering if we made it under the wire.

It turns out the Blue model of the ASUS 1000HE did not go out with the first release of the model. There was a bunch of black models that shipped 2/10 to e-tailers and was causing a ruckus. Rightfully so. If you get into a line for a pre-order, you expect that the first batch of units be reserved for pre-orders and not folks who are willing to pay more. It is capitalism, but it irks people.

If you go to the Amazon website, you will notice that the Blue model is still on pre-order and the Black model says that it ships 2-3 weeks and indicates that it is no longer on pre-order. I am not sure what that means except that the Blue's release had been delayed.

The rep from Asus told me that blues should go out to e-tailers this week (2/17), so they might ship out to customers next week, but someone on the Facebook board said that Amazon is expecting a shipment on the 23rd. The Asus rep said that Amazon is getting the largest amount of units -- receiving "15 times more than other etailers". Someone figured out that since J&R announced a shipment of 300, 15 times 300 would be 4500, which may or may not cover all of the pre-orders.

It is like reading tea leaves over there. Various people are posting their order dates, color machine, and whether or not they have gotten email from Amazon.

I ordered on February 14th and we have received no email updates so far. Some are getting messages like, "Shipping Soon" to "Estimated arrival date: 03/09/2009 - 03/12/2009". One guy who ordered black found out it is shipping tomorrow. It seems as random as a lottery. Who will the Asus gods judge worthy to bestow an actual completed order?

While we wait why not have some 1000HE Porn? I don't know about you, but I can play this unveiling of a 1000HE over and over. More sexy video here and here.

Oh Pl-eee-ze

2009-02-17T07:10:00.000-08:00

Myspace Glitter Graphics

Talk Me Down, ASUS

2009-02-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

Thanks Dangerously Drawn for summing up the wait process for my Blue Object of Desire.

I would like to call this drawing, "Preeee-release Madness"

As you know from my last post, I pre-ordered a blue ASUS 1000HE 10" netbook from Amazon. I ordered from Amazon not only because we had a $50 gift certificate from Christmas, or the reliable return policy, but because Amazon is the huge 900 lbs gorilla who should be getting a huge bulk of timely shipments. You would think that since Amazon has the most positive user reviews on the net of their eee 1000h series (in fact those reviews convinced us to settle on the Asus brand more than all the professional tech reviews), they would get a little love. I called Amazon and they told me they knew nothing about when they will get or ship them out. Yet, I go to their site and find posts like these:

- tukewl4u720 says:

Amazon rep said they're shipping the first batch now.
- Sami Abu-hantash says:

I asked someone at Amazon and they told me Mid March. I am starting to lose hope.
- TJ Power says:

I also asked Amazon, and they replied with April 14th. I'm starting to lose hope as well...

- They will be shipping the 16th. According to the Asus rep on the facebook group - Their US distribution company will be receiving them on the 13th, and they should be in retailers hands by the next week - so the 16th through the 20th would be reasonable... Amazon usually gets stuff early so I'm crossing my fingers for next Monday/Tuesday.

Then we had Techtweeter via Zicklepop giving us a 2-20-09 release date (from retail sources) after Zickel-P got an Amazon iphone App estimate of mid-April.

To me, as a consumer, it looks to me that neither Amazon, nor Asus is talking to each other to nail down release dates. It was that last post that got me to pre-order as it wasn't much of a wait. Even the 2-23-09 approximate date wasn't too bad. It wouldn't matter about the release time if everyone had to wait, but J&R, ZipZoomFly, and some Ebay e-tailers had them and were selling them. J&R is now sold out, but ZipZoomFly continues to sell them at a slightly higher price.

Then there comes a rumor that only the black model is going to released now, and the blue one will be released at a later date unknown. Wait a second! There was no indication that there were going to be a seperate release of the blue unit from the black unit. If I had known that I would have ordered the black one. Now, if I change my order it would put me farther back in the queue. When it comes down to it I really want the blue one. I have Asus people saying they will look into this one.

A lot of the problem is this flurry of rumors. These rumors grab hold because of the absence of clear communication by ASUS. They put out the announcement, they generate a lot of press mention, have a facebook site and pre-release sale. They shouldn't have created buzz that they couldn't respond to. They should have had a time-table of when these units will be ready, shipped, sent out to retailers, and tell that to their customers. If Amazon or any other retailer lags, it would reflect on those retailers, not ASUS. Unfortunately, ASUS hasn't done that.

All I want is the blue shiny 1000HE that I can coo and write how much I love it to the world.

It looks like I may need a miracle.

Stay tuned.

Asus Anticipation: Preee-Order Support Group

2009-02-16T07:20:00.000-08:00

Thanks to ZicklePop@twitter, I got the idea to set up a Preee-Order Support group for the Asus eee PC 1000HE. Please feel free to post especially if you have pre-ordered and feel lost, anxious, excited, and obsessed.

Thanks to my friend, Quyen I was able to use a $50.00 gift certificate toward a pre-order of this baby in blue (plus a 2gb RAM upgrade). All Asus said about the release was late February, but it is February 16 and at this point you would think an ETA would be set if the release date is going to be in February. Googling 1000HE Ship date, I found ZicklePop's twitter that the Amazon iphone app said the release was mid-April. I dispaired. It turns out ZicklePop's twitter source said that the ship date is actually 2-20-09. I also read a rumor that they may have shipped last Friday and that they should be arriving this week. I asked for confirmation at the Official ASUS eee PC Facebook site, but no word yet only anxious folk.

From Amazon:

The Eee PC 1000HE by Asus comes in a Blue style that has a much longer battery life than previous models, up to 9 hours with the help of the new Intel N280 processor and Asus Super Hybrid Engine battery technology. The Eee PC has a sturdy LED backlit display with a high-resolution screen. At 1024 x 600 pixels, images are clear and sharp, making it more comfortable on the eyes reading and editing documents. Typing has also gotten easier with the new chicklet keyboard, which gives you wide keys that are spread out to help prevent mistyping. On the top of this screen is the 1.3 Megapixel Webcamera that works synchronously with the 802.11N wireless to provide web conferencing anywhere, anytime for easier web communications and increased work efficiency. To complete the wireless package you also get Bluetooth that allows you to easily connect wireless with Bluetooth headsets or mouse for added comfort and use. Store all your favorite music, video and personal files on the 160GB hard drive and when you need additional space or some way to backup, you can do it with the additional 10GB Eee Online storage. Preinstalled on the Eee PC to provide you a familiar interface is Microsoft's Windows XP Home, Windows Live Messenger and Works for numerous office applications, that allows anyone to learn, work and play. With all of these features the Asus Eee PC makes for a fantastic purchase as a well-equipped second notebook or a Web access tool, so beat the crowds, and get yours today before they sell out! 10 LCD WSVGA (1024 x 600) LED Backlight Display Intel UMA Graphics Card 1.3 Megapixel Webcamera and Digital Array Microphone WiFi 802.11b/g/n Wireless Bluetooth 10/100Mbps LAN Stereo Speakers Memory Card Slot - MultiMedia Card (MMC), Secure Digital (SD) Card, SDHC Connections - 3 x USB, VGA, Headphone, Microphone, RJ-45 (LAN) Approximate Unit Dimensions - 10.47 (W) x 7.53 (D) x 1.12 ~ 1.50 (H)

When my 17" Dell Inspiron 1705's screen and video died, I could spend 300-500 (or more with no guarantees it would be fixable) to fix it, or use that money to get a new machine. This budget put me in the market for newfangled netbooks. I was open to it because I had found that the 17" was way too bulky to carry around the house much less to a cafe, work, or travel. The battery life on the 1705 was abysmal. The power cord would go unplugged and it would be out of power in less than an hour, so I had to have it plugged whereever I went which defeated the whole concept of portable.

I give up screensize, processing power, and resolution for portability and price. I will let you know if it is worth it. Meanwhile, I anxiously wait.

Thoughts on Bi-Partisanship

2009-01-30T06:43:00.000-08:00

Here is my problem.

The American people gave the republicans and their party a chance to show us how they would run things without Democratic interference and gave their policies a chance. The republicans ran this country into the ground in the most profound way. Ever.

I do not have faith in republican philosophies. They do not work. The proof was in the pudding and in the tasting the past eight years. Why do they still feel entitled to have their policies tried again in this current stimulus bill when our president Obama had already made minor concessions to them? Republicans have not earned the right to expect more concessions. They have not earned the American people's trust.

Just look at the last 2 election cycles. America is just not that into you.

Americans have seen what republicans have done and realized you as a party and candidates are willfully incompetant. Everything republicans touched turned into such a complete cluster-fail.

On the other hand, I want to support Obama in his plan to create one America where we are not our party membership, but Americans first. I want our president to continue to be a president of all Americans even republican ones. The question is how much input from the republicans can we afford to fold in to our recovery? What qualifies republicans to say anything that the Democratic folks do is wrong? They cannot even claim that they are better protectors of the interests of taxpayers anymore as they may have been in the 1970s as they have squandered our tax dollars to ill effect.

If republicans cannot be helpful in these times, then they need to walk the political desert until they can and become a party for all Americans. Until they do, they need to suck it up, support Obama, and be thankful he stepped up to clean up their mess. For the country they claim to love's sake, they need to do everything they can to make sure he is successful.

PUMA World

2009-01-21T21:16:00.000-08:00

In PUMA world no one exists except their own need to feed their own victim-hood. They do not care about the practical things we have to do to solve huge problems like our environment and global warming, our economy, our damaged constitution, and two horrible wars. They would rather let these problems fester and grow under a republican presidency (Mccain-Palin) than giving Obama any support whatsoever. It is already the first day and they find nothing but fault on sites like Politico and Confluence where they languish day after day. They are more critical about Obama on his first day, than they were about republicans. Go to their sites sometime and see how much negative noise and nitpicking over real discussion about real issues.

Fortunately, they are the fringe of those who say they supported Hillary Clinton and the fringe of society and a dying breed. In reality, I don't think they have any idea what Hillary or the Clinton's stand for. They just don't want to let go the victim-hood vs. this nebulous patriarchy. Even MS Magazine they see as now serving the Patriarchy. NUTS! They do not even attack women's issues in a very coherent or in a very effective way. They couldn't even get it together to win a silly blog award -- how will they get anything accomplished?

Fortunately, most of us live in a reality-based world in which we understand the tough decisions that need to be made to make progress on important issues that will effect our children. We are the ones who created the most successful political movement in modern times and they are not.

Greed and Debt Didn't Kill Our Economy...We Need More Babies...

2009-01-11T17:57:00.000-08:00

The Pro-birth Movement Strikes Again!

I found this photo of a sourpuss who has something to say about "the pill". Apparently, I missed a June 7, 2008 (cleverly on the anniversary of the Griswald v. Connecticut decision that allowed married people the ability to get birth control from their doctors) party where they celebrate how "the pill" kills. Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt!

They explain:

During any discussion of the birth control pill, it is important to keep in mind that scientists have confirmed that at the moment the sperm and the egg join (fertilization), a new human being is created who is completely different from his/her mother.

The birth control pill works in three ways:

1. It can prevent the release of an egg from the ovary (ovulation). However, while using the pill, women can and do experience breakthrough ovulation - meaning that an egg is released from the ovary and is available to be fertilized by the sperm.

2. It also causes the cervical mucus to thicken, making it difficult for the sperm to reach the egg. It is possible, though, for the sperm to break through the mucus and to fertilize the egg.

3. It also changes the lining of the uterus. This makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the five- to seven-day-old baby to attach to the lining, where he/she would receive the nourishment needed to grow. If the baby does not successfully attach to the lining, he/she dies and is expelled from the body during menstruation. This process is known as a chemical abortion. The fact that it can occur as a result of taking birth control pills is why the pill is referred to as an abortifacient.

I always said that eventually they will argue that menstruation is murder. Spontaneous abortions or miscarriages happen all the time, so God must be an abortionist too! (Gasp!)

This is why I have always referred to the pro-life movement as the pro-birth movement. They do not believe in birth control to prevent abortions.

"The birth control pill does not reduce the number of abortions. The only difference is that you are killing the baby earlier. It is estimated that over 70 million chemical abortions have taken place in the United States in the last 10 years alone." - "Pill Kills" website

They are really, really serious about you all having babies even if you don't want them since they are really, really serious about controlling your sexuality. Thus all the abstinence only stuff (that doesn't work -- details!).

Another Reason to Celebrate Bush Leaving

On December 18th, Bush's HHS department released their rules allowing health providers to deny birth control to women based on moral or religious purposes. This means the prick at your pharmacy can give you the finger instead of your prescription, because he thinks that you are preventing life. My take is if you cannot fill a prescription for birth control, you should not be a pharmacist. Another reason I voted for Obama, he is against these rules. Are you listening, PUMAs who call themselves "feminists"?

Less Bailouts, More Babies!
Silly me. I thought the current economic crisis was caused by easy lending standards brought on by loan bundlers who got greedy that drove up real estate prices. Apparently, our current downturn is caused by not having enough babies. It seems all that family planning is costing our economy like 30 trillion dollars.

“If you further take into account the number of babies lost to abortifacient contraception like the pill, IUDs, and RU-486, that number doubles,” the article says. For comparison, the 2007 Gross World Product – all goods and services produced by all of humankind – was only $65 trillion.

Silver Linings of Blogwars

2009-01-11T14:07:00.000-08:00

War is hell.

The Blogwars of 09 will probably be overshadowed by two wars, the economy tanking and our impending lives as hobo wanderers, the Middle East crisis, the rising seas and the coming famines, and the premier of American Idol. Of course, we will all be saved by the UBER-FEMINIST Barack H. Obama, while PUMAs gently, but bitterly weep into their cat's fur. Even though these battles and the results of the 2008 Weblog Awards will quickly and unceremoniously be thrown under the bus for more important things, it is still worth waging till the polls close this Tuesday, when Obama will become the 44th President amongst much Puma wailing.

The happy thing is that through this I discovered some really great blogs along with terrible ones (I am looking at you clownloving PUMAs!)

Are you tired of cutesy websites or family and friends who send you cute animal photos. Do you wish to be delivered from being force fed cute? Tough luck. There will always be cutesy websites and emils with baby seals hugging or dogs licking cats. Hopefully, there will always be F*ck you, Penguin!. It is therapy and it is free. You are welcome.

During the battle, I learned of a blog that was not originally in a targeted category, "Pharygula" for Best Science Blog. I heart this blog because it talks about a subject close to my heart...the attack on science by the creationists, who are prodded on by energy and tobacco interests who benefit from undermining trust in science. It is always nice to trip onto one of the "Good Guys".

My friends at Wonkette asked me to vote for the Pajama Pundit for Best Hidden Gem. I may not agree with him or the blog always, but they seem to be reasonable. I am intrigued. Because of Wonkette, I found out about Blue Gal, who is my most favorite find and my nominee for the classiest of all who were nominated. Blue Gal should win Best Liberal Blog, but the PUMAs messed with the wrong people. I vote for Driftglass, because SHE told me to.

I will check out some other blogs that were nominated later. Now I will suggest some I like that were not nominated because they are either regional blogs or blogs that are hard to classify.

Marin Real Estate Bubble Blog and his Marin POS blog has been my favorites for awhile. Marinite is one of the many excellent Bubble bloggers who were sounding the alarms as early as 2005 as to the overinflation of housing prices. I watched as a lot of the local real estate guys would laugh and say that we were all doomsayers. Well, dine on your hats ladies and gents.

The Daily Bastardette, this blog is written by Marley Greiner, who was the grandmother of Bastard Nation, an activist group I worked for in the 1990s. I love her grasp of history and the politics of Bastardy and Adoptee rights, but I do not necessarily agree with her stance on baby dumps or adoption as a concept.

PUMA vs. Feminists and Reality

2009-01-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

You certainly have to say that you have to be a rather hardcore feminist (or really "crazy") to take on feminist magazine MS. over this particular cover. There are calls for a boycott of a magazine that I am not even sure these people read.

This is craziness that we all come to expect from the PUMA. It is like a gender studies class gone horribly wrong.

Ms. Magazine has done far more for the feminist cause and raising awareness than any of the PUMAs put together. Somehow, they know better who is and who isn't feminist, huh? How do they do it? They call me a misogynist feminist, yet they have no guts to post my response to their outrageous claim. Simply put, they lack integrity, but they still feel qualified to question others' integrity.

It seems that PUMAs have a problem with Obama's including and co-opting the religious right so he can tackle problems like global warming, the economic crisis, and being in two wars. I am a woman, but I am also a human being who believes we have greater fights for the survival of this planet. I have fought against the religious right more fervently and closely, and totally understand their danger that I would never vote for the republican party that they completely co-opted (unlike some PUMAs). I understand what Obama is trying to accomplish and so does MS. They actually looked at his record for women's issues, which PUMA does not. PUMA ignores that his rating for reproductive rights is impressive and he actually worked with reproductive rights activists.

Then Confluence goes off on a riff about Women First. Did you know that Hillary won the Primary? No? Neither did I. Again they pretend that the caucus states do not matter. In their universe, they forget all about the two states that went against party rules and were told they would not be counted. Hillary went along with the rules and only when she realized that she won those states (because she had the party apparatus behind her and name recognition) that she was all of the sudden against the rules. Bah! Hillary lost and Obama won. All of us on the left and more recently on the right have lost elections. Get over it.

Confluence talks about how the patriarchy not only did not want the Hillary, but it did not want Sarah Palin. This patriarchy they speak of had a moment of clarity on the Palin question. Palin had no business being dogcatcher, much less Vice President of the United States. Many women I knew who were for Clinton or were republicans, voted for Obama because Palin was such an insulting choice. It was an insulting choice because republicans thought that women were idiotic enough to vote for any woman, regardless of how hostile that woman is to the rights of women and to our children's future. They thought that just because Palin was a woman we would overlook that she lacked common sense, education, curiosity, intellect, and background to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

I don't want to get a job because I was a woman and no woman with a sense of dignity would. Feminism is about giving us the opportunity to become anything we want, but we need to prepare ourselves to have the qualifications and be able to be ready when called. I certainly didn't think Palin was or will ever be ready.

Hillary had a lot going for her, but she and her husband made political decisions that hurt her chances. Hillary was also a victim of timing being up against a better executed campaign with a charismatic candidate. Hillary lost because she believed the hype before the primaries that she had it in the bag and relied only on the states that had the democratic machine behind her. When conditions changed she was unable to adjust her campaign. She didn't help herself when she started dissing young people, caucus states, black voters, and educated wine drinkers for voting for Obama suggesting that they were not hard workers like the elderly, lower class, catholic women who take shots of Crown Royal, live in Appalachia, own cats, and belong to a union.

Sure there was sexism, but there was also racism. I had to leave the General Clark for Pres/VP forum, because the Hillary supporters there were blatantly being racist and hostile anyone supporting Obama. That was before I decided on Obama.

Hillary lost because she was divisive and the country was tired of divisiveness. The Bushes and the Clintons represented the culture war over the sixties. While keeping religion out of our bedrooms and classrooms are important, both sides of the culture war need to chill and focus on real problems facing our country. Hillary lost because her divisive nature was ill-suited for the challenges ahead. Obama had better strategy and temperament to get things done than Hillary.

Hillary is going to be Obama's Secretary of State. I am not very excited about this, but I trust Obama that he and Hillary have worked out a way to get his foreign policy across with her skills and connections. We shall see if Hillary can step up to the plate and execute Obama's foreign policy that the American people prefer.

So Obama is a feminist and these PUMAs are just spinning their wheels while they ignore real problems and do nothing to help real women who need help in their communities and around the world. They pick this cover as what they would like to waste their energies on. ROAR!